


Take the Cat - I'll Explain Later

by Itch



Category: Supernatual
Genre: Angst, Christmas Fluff, College!AU, Cuddling, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of car accident, Near Death, Nightmares, Pining, bed sharing, death of a family member, fake relationships, i promise there is a happy ending, mention of emotional neglect, university!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-20 19:02:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6021334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itch/pseuds/Itch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel Novak, a hyperactive golden haired drama student with a penchant for sugar and pranking people. Sam Winchester, a law student with a love of strawberries and good reading material. Mr Fizzles, a cat who unwillingly drew two people together.<br/>After meeting Sam by pure fluke, Gabriel keeps coming back to him, just to hang out on a regular basis, bringing him tea even when Sam doesn't ask for it and just generally supplying him with a distraction from daily stresses.<br/>Until one day Gabriel gets one of the worst phone calls of his life, and the only person he thinks of going to is Sam. Not for sympathy, not to talk it out, but to simply be around. </p><p>From there comes Christmas at Sam’s with his annoying older brother, hijinks that involve too much glitter, an astonishing amount of jelly beans, a bucket full of jelly and a rather suspicious Christmas tree, and the simple yet poignant act of falling irrevocably in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who the Hell Brings Someone a Cat at 8am?

**Author's Note:**

> H e r e it is, my first Sabriel Big Bang! This fic was a rollercoaster to write but I enjoyed every second so I just hope you enjoy reading! Big thanks to my three betas who read it the days before it was due (teenytinytony/homoeroticmoose/synergysam) because I was freaking out about it ;w;
> 
> ART IS HEEEEEEEEEERE THANK YOU WEFOLLOWEDFIRES <3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/6051238?view_adult=truehttps://archiveofourown.org/works/6051238?view_adult=true

 At quarter to eight in the morning, Gabriel ran into the Humanities dorms. He was wearing jeans covered in paint - he blamed Garth - and his pyjama shirt, that was slowly becoming more and more covered in cat hair. He was knocking on every door that he recognised the number of, beaming up at the familiar face inside. It was times like this he was glad he attended so many of the parties that were held around campus, it gave him good contacts in every set of dorms.

Every time a door was opened however, it was closed in his face again seconds later. He needed someone he knew to baby-sit the cat during inspection, because if no one did, Garth would do his _nut_. Garth loved the dumb cat more than he seemed to love himself sometimes, and he was not about to let him be taken away from him by the RA. Garth was, as Gabriel would lovingly describe, ‘a bean’, and couldn’t bring himself to go around and ask people if they’d take in the cat.

Due to this, Gabriel was now left standing outside the last room that he knew the inhabitant of, praying to every single deity he knew of, bouncing on the balls of his feet whilst scratching at Mr Fizzles’ shoulder. He’d gone through the whole of the Social Science dorms, but he barely knew anyone in there. No one in the Mathematic and Science dorms _wanted_ him, even though Gabriel had pleaded nearly on his knees at one point.

So, that was how he’d ended up standing outside room 22 of the Humanities dorms. The door swung open and he put on his best smile. If there was one thing Gabriel Novak had in the world, it was charisma, and during those few seconds when he made eye contact with the man on other side of the door, he needed it to work. He was _not_ about to start asking complete and utter strangers if they’d look after the sodding cat.

 

 "Ask Winchester." Ron said, toothbrush hanging out the side of his mouth, one hand holding a towel up around his waist. Gabriel’s face flashed from the confident smile to a slightly guilty _oops_ as he realised that he’d probably caught him at a bad time. Ron didn’t even seem to be annoyed Gabriel was there, he just seemed more surprised to see him out of bed before noon. He took the toothbrush from his mouth, using it to point across the hall to number 27. A drip of toothpaste left it, landing on the floor and Mr Fizzles stared at it as if he _wanted it._ "He loves animals." Gabriel wilted for a second as the door was closed on him. Ron didn’t even let him _speak._ He must have been becoming predictable. The worst part of the whole ‘conversation’ was that Gabriel _didn’t know_ who lived in number 27. At least Ron had given him a name.

Gabriel stood outside _'Winchester's'_ door and kicked it, both of his hands occupied by the grey cat who had decided he wasn’t going to stay still any longer. Mr Fizzles was a grumpy bastard when he wanted to be, and now was, unfortunately one of those moments. Perhaps the cat had decided he did indeed want the tiny droplet of toothpaste and he was going to get it. It was more likely though he’d just had enough of being crushed to Gabriel’s chest and wanted to be _put down now please._

 “Listen to me, you furry _asshole_ if you don’t stay still I’m gonna -” When a six foot four wall of tanned skin and dimples opened the door, Gabriel nearly dropped the damn animal that he’d spent the last twenty seconds trying to get to stay still.

 “Uh…”

 "Winchester?" He asked, trying _not_ to stare at the other boy’s bare chest, and the way his pyjama bottoms hung low on those slim hips. But how could he not stare when this guy was just full on _perfection_ in every way?

 "Depends who's asking." He replied quickly, a smile on his face, and he reached out a hand to scratch behind the cat’s ears. "This isn't my cat, before you ask."

 "Ah, yeah, I know, he's Garth's, but we're not allowed pets in the art dorms and the RA is coming round." Gabriel explained, watching ‘Winchester’ become acquainted with the cat. "And I was looking for someone to cat sit Mr Fizzles here until the inspection is over," He couldn’t drag his eyes away from the hand touching Mr Fizzles. Or the bicep on the arm attached to the hand. _Please, please say yes. Not only does that mean Garth won’t kill me - but I’ll get to see you again without making me look like a creep._

 "Uh- sure, I'm free. And I love cats." He took Mr Fizzles from Gabriel's arms and cuddled him close.  Gabriel let out a huge sigh of relief.

 "You're a lifesaver, Winchester. Tell you what, once inspection is over, Garth and I will come over, Garth for fluffy there and me for you. Coffee sound good?." Before Winchester could reply,  Gabriel was already walking away with a spring in his step. Mission success!

**~*~**

Sam turned back into his room, kicking the door closed and putting Mr Fizzles down on his bed. All he’d done this morning was wake up and fall over the stack of textbooks he’d left in the middle of the room, and now he had a cat that belonged to someone he’d never heard of. Oh, and the image of a golden haired stranger burned into his mind’s eye. He grabbed his phone and called Charlie, the only person he could think of who’d be able to help him in a situation such as this one.

 “This better be good Sam, waking me up this early on a Saturday.” He could almost taste the displeasure in her voice and he bit back a laugh, knowing she was giving the phone a death glare at this moment in time.

 "Hey, Charlie, do you know a uh… a Garth?"

 “Do you know I’m not the _only_ social butterfly you’re friends with?” Sam smiled.

 “But you’re my favourite.” He sat on his office chair, kicking his feet up on the desk, watching the grey cat curl up on his pillow to sleep.

 “Dammit Winchester, you know I love it when you flatter me. Luckily for you, I can solve your 8am mystery. Garth Fitzgerald IV - animation and illustration student. Scrawny, obsession with sock puppets... has a cat. Why?"

 "Because a stranger just came and gave me his cat."

 “Who the hell brought you a cat at 8am?”

 “This guy did!”

 "Urgh, I'll be right over." She hung up, and Sam wiggled his chair slightly, still watching the cat. Who the hell _does_ bring people cats at 8 in the morning?

**~*~**

"Wait - who did you give Mr Fizzles to?" Garth asked when Gabriel got back. Garth had an armful of binders and papers and a smudge of toothpaste on his cheek. Gabriel grabbed Garth by the chin, licking his thumb and rubbing at the toothpaste. “Ew, gross, Gabe, gettoff.” He swatted at his friend and Gabriel just rolled his eyes, grabbing Garth’s duvet, yanking it out the hair-coated covers.

 "Some Winchester kid. He seemed to like ol' Fizz, so you don't need to worry about him going all Mrs Norris on him." Gabriel waved Garth's worries off with a Harry Potter reference and a Snickers bar to the chest. "And I'm taking him to coffee once this is over with." Gabriel stood on tiptoes, dragging another set of bedcovers from the cupboard and raised an eyebrow. “Puppies, Garth? What does Mr Fizzles think?” He threw the covers down onto the stripped bed, reaching into his pocket to pull out a handful of jellybeans, popping one in his mouth and humming when he realised it was popcorn flavoured.

 "Mr Fizzles doesn’t care as long as it’s not a _real_ puppy. And cats don't drink coffee." Garth mumbled through a mouthful of nougat and peanuts.

 "I’m not taking Mr Fizzles for coffee, you moron!" Gabriel threw a jellybean at Garth, laughing.

**~*~**

 "So, a gorgeous sandy haired stranger shows up on your doorstep, clutching a cat and needing a favour and you didn't even get the guys _name?_ " Charlie started talking as soon as Sam let her in, taking the Starbucks cup that was being thrust into his hands. He blinked a few times, absorbing what her 90 mph mouth had just said.

 "I was half asleep, he woke me up with the knock. And I don’t recall mentioning he was gorgeous." Sam protested, running a hand through his hair and taking a sip of of the latte Charlie had brought him. _You’re not wrong though._

 "That’s weak, Winchester." She sat cross legged on the unmade bed, grey cat mewing as she disturbed him. "So you're Mr Fizzles. What a name for a cat." She laughed as did Sam. He agreed; it was a funny name for a cat. Almost as funny as bringing him round to his room at 8am.

 "Are you _sure_ you don't know him? He was short, and his hair and his eyes were this _gold_ colour..." Sam trailed off, realising that was the only description he had of the mystery man until he came back to take Sam out for coffee.  

 "Sounds like the guy who starred in last years musical - but I don't know his name. Could be Novak, don't hold me to it though. Which, by the way, if it _is_ ? _That’s_ how I know your mystery guy was gorgeous." She threw her recently-emptied cup into the bin and lay back on Sam's bed.

**~*~**   

 "Gabriel, are you really gonna take him on a date? You don't even know his _name_." Garth was fussing, sweeping his hair from his eyes as he watched Gabriel pace around his dorm room.

 "Yes, I am, dammit you didn't see him, but this kid is six-four and solid eye candy." He flapped his arms before falling melodramatically onto his bed. Garth glared at Gabriel - they had literally _just_ made that.

 "Wait, six-four? Uhh... Tanned, hazel eyes, hair down to about here, dimples?" Garth asked, suddenly knowing _exactly_ who Gabriel was talking about.

 "How did you know?" Gabriel rolled over, watching Garth who stood up and grabbed a scrapbook from the pile under his desk.

 "Sam Winchester." He said, opening a scrapbook and flipping through it. “He was on the debate team last year when we won. I know I kept the picture that was taken… _there_ .” He pointed at the debate team, and lo and behold, there was Sam Winchester. _Oh God he was intelligent as well as gorgeous._ Gabriel sighed softly. Great. Of course Gabriel would be debating after chasing someone way out of his league.

**~*~**

It was nearly midday when someone knocked on Sam’s door. Both he and Charlie jumped. He shot her a look and she rolled her eyes, getting up to answer the door. That look from Sam spelt _BEHAVE._ She opened the door and stepped back so that the golden haired boy who’d brought the cat round could step in, his presence filling the whole room. Behind him, a taller, scrawnier boy followed. Sam had to hold back a grin as they walked in. _He hadn’t forgotten._

 “Mr Fizzles!” The darker haired boy shouted, gathering the cat up in his arms. The cat melted into a puddle of purring and fur in his arms. “Thank you for looking after him…” Garth trailed off, not wanting to say Sam’s name in case it looked creepy that he knew it.

 “‘m Sam. Hey weren’t you on the debate team last year? Garth right?”

 “Oh, you remembered!” Garth grinned as Mr Fizzles buried his face into his owner’s neck.

 “And you’re welcome. I didn’t really have much choice, he was thrust upon me by your friend.” He nodded towards Gabriel, who was standing there, hip cocked, twisting a lollipop around in his mouth, staring at the pictures hanging on Sam’s wall.

 “Gabriel.” Garth said, burying his face into Mr Fizzles’ fur. The smaller boy turned round, taking the lollipop out of his mouth and giving Sam a huge bow.

 “That is my name - don’t wear it out.” He said, putting the sweet back into his mouth. “Are we ready to go get coffee?” He asked, rolling the sweet round in his cheek.

 “Yeah sure. You okay locking up my flat when you leave Char?” He asked, swinging his satchel over onto his shoulder. Charlie nodded and sat back down on Sam’s bed.

 “C’mon Garthy, we’ll have a chat.” She patted the sheets beside her and Garth sat, Sam following Gabriel out the door, closing it with a click behind him.


	2. Give me the Marshmallows and Nobody gets Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel takes Sam out for a coffee as a thank you

 “I do believe that I owe you a thank you, Samster,” Sam raised an eyebrow at the nickname, but said nothing. Better than ‘bitch’ he guessed.  _ Yeah Dean, this stranger gives me better nicknames than you.  _ “No one else would take Mr Fizzles and Garth was panicking because he thought I wouldn’t find someone to take him.” Gabriel laughed, holding out a lollipop for Sam, who took it. “I told him to trust me, but alas…” Gabriel waved a hand, a smirk on his face.

 “It’s no problem, really. If I’m honest, I was just surprised to see someone looking vaguely human at 8am on a Saturday.” He chuckled, unwrapping the lollipop and sucking on it carefully.

 “Yeah? Well with me, don’t get to attached to that sight. Inspection tends to provide the motivation to get up and at ‘em.” He shrugged, matching Sam’s pace perfectly. Sam was surprised he could keep with him - most people struggled to keep up with him thanks to his long legs. Not that he was complaining obviously, it was a nice change.  _ Gabriel  _ was a nice change. 

 “True. Thank you, y’know, for the coffee date.” He said, then immediately regretting the use of the word  _ date.  _ “Not that this is a date! If you don’t want it to be I mean, if - if you  _ want _ it to be a date then that’s okay I have nothing against that and, and,  _ argh, _ ” Sam groaned, burying his face in his hands, glowing red. Wow, he was making a fool of himself in front of Gabriel and he’d only met the guy today. Gabriel stared at Sam.The moose was a complete  _ goof _ \- and he loved it.

 “Samson if you want this to be a date then it already is, I can’t turn down a date with a piece of ass like you.” He said with a wink, licking the tip of the lollipop slowly, watching Sam. Sam looked at Gabriel, chewing on his bottom lip. 

 “Are you sure? You don’t even  _ know  _ me. I could be an axe murderer for all you know.” Gabriel laughed, patting Sam on the shoulder.

 “I’m pretty sure you’re not an axe murderer. Dork? Yes. Murderer? Nah, you don’t got the guts.” Gabriel winked at Sam playfully before linking their elbows, dragging Sam down the road and into a Starbucks, heading to the counter. “What would you like Samaroo? Something herbal and teaish?” he raised an eyebrow.

 “Uh… yeah, actually, a green tea would be lovely.” he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck shyly at the way he seemed to be that see through. Gabriel leant on the counter, flashing the barista a wink and she giggled.

 “Heya darlin’, can I get one large green tea for Moose, yeah that’s right like the animal, and one large hot chocolate with whipped cream for Gabe?” He purred, and she just nodded, cheeks flushing red. Sam was impressed. Gabriel had a lot of natural charm and he seemed to know exactly how to use it. As she handed the cups to Gabriel, he made sure their fingers brushed and she looked at him as if he’d burnt her. If Sam had had to admit it, he was slightly jealous of the amount of attention she was getting from Gabriel. He wasn’t sure  _ why  _ he was, but he was. Not like he could blame the poor girl for reacting how she did. If Sam had been a little younger and a little easier star-struck he probably would react in the exact same way.

Then in a second that all changed. Gabriel turned back to him, drinks in hand and gave him the widest smile he’d ever seen, and Sam was sure he felt his heart do an actual somersault. Gabriel held his drink out and he took it, thanking him. He cursed his own unspoken claim, retracting the whole not easily star-struck thing. Gabriel had some kind of stupid supernatural talent for making people’s heart skip it seemed. But there was something more to it as well. Something about the way that when Gabriel turned to him, it was like the rest of the shop vanished from Gabriel’s periphery vision and all he focused on was Sam. 

**~*~**

Gabriel waved it off, linking his arm with Sam and leaving the store, striding down the street. Sam looked at their joined arms in a state of shock. Was he always this tactile? He made a mental note to ask Garth about that as Gabriel dragged him into an off license, grabbing a pack of marshmallows and throwing them to the cashier, who seemed to know him.

 “Afternoon Gabe, you seem to be in a good mood.” he chuckled, ringing up the marshmallows, hand out for the coins Gabriel had ready before the price even showed up on the register. Obviously he came in here a lot. Or was just very educated on the price of marshmallows in off licenses.

 “Why wouldn’t I be? Look at Hot Stuff behind me.” The cashier looked up before giving an approving nod. 

 “Alright fine, I see it. Grab some Skittles as you leave. Never did let me thank you for helping me out the other week.”

 “Aw c’mon Simes, you don’t you don’t need to-.”

 “I know. Now g’on, scoot. And do  _ not  _ forget the Skittles.” The man made a shooing motion at Gabriel who snatched up the marshmallows and a bag of Skittles, leaving the shop. Sam just stared at the golden haired ball of friendliness. Did  _ everyone  _ feel his charm? 

 “What happened the other week?” Sam couldn’t help but ask and Gabriel just shrugged, ripping open the packet of Skittles, popping a green one in his mouth. 

 “Back of his shop flooded. He lives above it so he woke up at the sound and it was something ridiculous like 4am. He had my number and called me because he didn’t know who else lived nearby. I hauled ass and took him basically anything absorbent I owned. Even woke Balthy up and made him take me to the 24hr store to buy more towels. Dude was insistent I take some kinda repayment, didn’t see why though. Didn’t see any reason too!” Gabriel held the packet of Skittles out for Sam who took a handful, staring at Gabriel. Gabriel was definitely someone special, there was no denying that.

**~*~**

Sam followed Gabriel down the street, watching him greet every (Yes,  _ every _ ) dog he spotted, and occasionally squatting to coax a cat out from under a car to reward it with a scratch behind the ears and a few catnip treats he’d produce from his pocket. 

 “Do you always have pockets full of cat treats then?” Sam teased as this happened for the third time. Gabriel nodded, scooping up the ginger tom he’d found on a wall. 

 “Cats are harder to make friends with than dogs. So I keep catnip treats on me, they love me then.” he grinned at Sam, who just rolled his eyes. Gabriel put the cat down and grabbed Sam’s hand. “Right I’ll stop getting distracted, we’re going to the park and I’m going to feed you the rest of the Skittles as a thank you for babysitting Mr Fizzles and we’re gonna have a fun time.” he winked, dragging Sam behind him.  _ Gabriel was going to feed him the rest of the Skittles? _

**~*~**

 It turned out that yes, Gabriel was going to feed him the Skittles, as well as marshmallows, though only the pink ones, because Gabriel would only eat the white ones.  _ ‘What? The pink ones taste funny’  _ had been his only reasoning behind it. His sides ached from laughing where he’d taken the last white marshmallow and held it above Gabriel’s head enticing a shout of  _ GIVE ME MY MARSHMALLOW YOU ANTLER-LESS MOOSE  _ which had turned the heads of some passersby. As they headed back to the dorms, Gabriel grinned up at Sam, that sunny smile that Sam had gotten so used to seeing all afternoon and patted him on the cheek as they stood outside Sam’s room. 

 “This was fun Samsnap, should do it again sometime.” he winked at Sam, opening his door and waving to Garth, who gave Charlie a hug, following Gabriel down the hall and away. 

 “Soooooo?” Charlie crooned, stretching out on Sam’s bed as he fell into the office chair, spinning around giddily. 

 “God, Charlie, he’s…” he stopped. What  _ was  _ the best way to describe Gabriel Novak? “Mental.” yep, good start. “But he’s got this charisma about him that just draws people to him, it’s amazing. And he’s  _ so  _ good with animals.” he grinned at Charlie, who was giving him the smuggest look. “What?”

 “I give it two weeks till you admit you have a crush on him.” Sam went scarlet. 

 “Charlie, what the hell man? No, I’m not gonna end up with a crush on him!” he threw his rubber band ball off his desk at her, scrunching his nose up. She laughed, catching it and throwing it back. She knew he would, he had that sparkle in his eyes and a spring in his step that’d been lacking since well… ever.   

**~*~**

 “You seem pleased.” Garth commented, watching Gabriel flip a penny into the air and catch it.

 “I am, Sam Winchester is a perfect gentleman.” he hummed, skipping the penny over his knuckles á la Captain Jack Sparrow and Garth rolled his eyes, regretting showing Gabriel that film in the first place. He swore the swagger in Gabriel’s step was nowhere near as big before he showed him the pirate movie. 

 “Seems like it.” Garth waved Gabriel off as they got to their rooms, Gabriel practically running inside and diving onto his bed grabbing up his laptop and opening Tumblr. After a few minutes of mindless scrolling he found himself on Facebook, searching for Sam Winchester. Finding him (thank god for mutual friends) he clicked 'Add Friend'. 

It took Sam less than 15 minutes to accept. Taking a deep breath, Gabriel opened a chat box.


	3. Strawberries After Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Social media is a godsend

**Gabriel Novak**

_ hey sam! :) _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Oh hey Gabriel :) you get back to your room okay?? _

Something about that was just so endearing to Gabriel. Maybe it was the way his room wasn’t far from Sam’s, maybe a five minute walk at most, yet Sam was worried about if he’d gotten back there safe. He smiled a little at the screen, rearranging himself in his bed to type out his reply.

**Gabriel Novak**

_ yeah i got back fine, garth’s hounding for me questions but i told him it //wasnt a date and therefore there wasnt anything to say :P charlie on u yet? _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Yeah she’s asking me all kinds of questions about it and you, favourite colour, if I have you on Facebook (well I do now) what you had at the coffee shop etc. She’s a menace like that. _

_ What have you told Garth? _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ nothing except ur cute af and i wanna take you out to coffee again some time :* _

_ btw my fave colour is purple _

_ urs? _

He tapped his fingers on the keyboard a little before sitting up, noticing Garth watching him.

 “What?” Garth just shook his head with a quiet laugh, petting Mr Fizzles. “Garthy,  _ what. _ ” He squinted, before throwing a pillow at his roommate.

 “Nothing! I’ve just… never seen you look at your laptop so intently as you are now. Except that one time you needed to finish reading that text book before midnight and it was 11:20.” Gabriel flushed a little, making grabby hands for his pillow back just so he could re-throw it at Garth.

**Sam Winchester**

_ Green. :)  _

_ And just so you know, you’re cute too _

_ You’re okay with me saying that right? _

_ Oh god please say I haven’t screwed something up _

_ HI THIS IS CHARLIE AND SAM’S GONE INTO THE BATHROOM CAUSE HE’S FREAKING OUT AND HE SAYS HE’S OFFENDED YOU AND I TOLD HIM YOU HADN’T HIS PHONE NUMBER IS 07908635146 PLEASE TEXT HIM ;D _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ woah wtf i was talking to garth _

_ well this has turned into a trainwreck _

_ rip _

 

He grabbed his phone, tapping in the number for texting Sam. 

 

> _ hey it’s gabe, charlie gave me ur number. me u coffee again tmrw? _

 

He got the reply seconds later. 

 

_ Sounds amazing :)  _ <

**~*~**

Sam said goodnight to Gabriel via Facebook at midnight, a smile on his face as he watched the little green circle that indicated online flick away, and he went offline. Gabriel was  _ fun  _ he found, them having a good time discovering the Facebook chess chat feature and playing a number of games. Sam was very good at chess, and Gabriel seemed intent on trying to win at a game even though Sam was sure it wouldn’t happen.

Just as he was about to shut his laptop down at 2am, his number of online friends went from 3 to 4. He cocked an eyebrow at it, going to click on the chat bar to see who it was in case it was an American friend he hadn’t spoken to in a week, his news feed refreshed. 

 

**Gabriel Novak** _ just now _

_ nightmares are my FAVOURITE ahaha kill me now 8))) _

So that was who’d just come online. Sam’s cursor hovered over the ‘like’ button, then decided not to. Instead, he flipped open their conversation from earlier.

**Sam Winchester**

_ Hey, I see your status, you doin okay? _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ not really feel like shit but ill be fine u feel me might go out for a walk have a smoke clear my head  _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Wanna come meet me in the quad?  _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ you dont gotta _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Never said I needed to, thought you might want to have some company _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ that would actually be amazing. meet u in the quad in 5? _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Will do _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ cheers sam. x _

 

Sam jumped up, ignoring the fact he was still in his pyjamas and he shoved his feet into his boots. Sure he didn’t know Gabriel well but he’d helped him out once, why not help him out again? Making sure his laptop was shut, and he had his mobile and keys, he half ran from the room down to the small quad.

Gabriel was already waiting for him when he got there, a hoodie that didn’t seem to be his size bundled up around him and a punnet of strawberries in his lap. 

 “Nabbed these from the fridge. Comfort food ‘nd all.” Gabriel murmured around a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Sam nodded in understanding, sitting on the other end of the bench. “Help yourself, I probably shouldn’t eat ‘em all anyway.” He nudged them towards Sam, who took one, nibbling at the end. They sat there in silence for a little while before Gabriel shifted on the bench, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette and leaning against Sam’s side. Sam didn’t question it, he just brought an arm up to go around Gabriel’s shoulder, holding the smaller man a little closer to him. Gabriel blew out a couple of smoke rings, making Sam smile. 

 “Hey, impressive.” He commented, pointing at them as they were swept away in a gust of chilling wind. Sam tightened his arm around Gabriel as the wind ducked down the back of his neck, making him shiver. 

 “I don’t smoke much. Only when ‘m stressed out. Nicotine causes dopamine to be released in the brain, gives a happy buzz. S’how cigarettes and shit work.” He heaved a shrug, leaning a cheek on Sam’s shoulder. Sam wanted to know what the nightmares had been about, but he daren’t. If Gabriel wanted to share, then he would share. If he didn’t then Sam wouldn’t pressure him too. Gabriel didn’t seem to want to share though, he just seemed to want to sit and look up at the sky, blowing smoke rings up at the darkness.

Gabriel moved a little, pressing himself a little closer into the warmth of Sam’s side, his hoodie just that little too baggy to keep him warm, the wind making it’s way into the baggy sleeves and down the neck hole. He finished the cigarette and stamped on the butt before sighing again, breath forming a cloud like the smoke he’d just been exhaling. He should go back inside, he should go back into the room and try and go back to sleep, but he didn’t want to go back into the dark and into the silence of his dorm room. Out here might be cold was better than in there he supposed.

Out here in the cold had Sam though, and Sam seemed to be up for an awkward comforting friend hug, which was a lot better than what a sleeping Garth could offer. Gabriel would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t scared of the dark, though in all honesty he was more scared of what could come out of the dark with long fingers and teeth that snapped shut and dripped something awful. These were the thoughts that kept him awake until the wee hours of the morning and prevented him from sleeping, and then when he did sleep it was the incessant shouting that woke him. The shouting about him being selfish and letting the family down. He closed his eyes and yawned, rubbing his cheek slightly on Sam. Okay sure he was sapping Sam’s warmth, and the hoodie that Sam was wearing was  _ really  _ soft. Really  _ really  _ soft. 

 “You enjoying my hoodie there?” Sam chuckled softly, pressing his cheek to Gabriel’s hair, the coconutty smell of his shampoo making Sam twitch his nose.

 “Soft.” He muttered back , chewing on another strawberry happily, the sugar in the fruit starting to make him feel better. 

 “Hows about we swap? You wear my ‘soft’ one, and I’ll wear the one that looks like it could swamp me. Yeah?” Sam raised his arms to pull off the hoodie, holding it out to Gabriel. Gabriel stared from the grey fabric to Sam before pulling off his own dark purple hoodie, shrugging on the grey one that fitted him better, burying his nose in the warmth around the neck. The hoodie smelt like Sam, cinnamon and spearmint, and he found himself feeling more relaxed at that smell than he’d felt since he woke up. Sam pulled on the purple one, finding it was, as he’d thought, swamping him. 

 “That’s… really nice of you Sam. Thanks. A lot. I mean it.” Gabriel looked up at Sam, who just leant over for no reason and brushed a gentle kiss to Gabriel’s forehead. 

 “No worries. You think you can sleep now?” He decided if he needed to he could pass off the forehead kiss at a simple gesture of kindness, caused by over-tiredness. 

 “Can try. I mean it, thanks for this.” Sam just waved him off, escorting Gabriel back to his room, where Gabriel shoved the half finished strawberry punnet into his hands. 

 “You take ‘em.” Gabriel insisted, and Sam just nodded, deciding to have them for breakfast in the morning, perhaps on pancakes. Healthier than maple syrup at least.

Gabriel crawled back into his bed, tucking the covers around his waist once he’d changed back into his sleeping shorts, but he didn’t take off Sam’s hoodie, in fact he fell asleep with it on, hands tucked into the too long sleeves. He didn’t wake up once again, in fact he slept more peacefully than he had done in weeks.

**~*~**

When Sam woke up in the morning he checked Facebook, only to find he had a message. 

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ thanks again for last night _

_ uhm _

_ can i take you to lunch today as a thanks? _

_ only like mcds or something _

_ but i jus wanna say thanks again _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Sure :) _

_ Want your hoodie back? _

 

**Gabriel Novak**

_ would it be okay if i kept ur a little while longer? _

_ helped me sleep _

 

**Sam Winchester**

_ Course, no worries. _


	4. I Can Pretend If That's Okay w/ U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel has a small crisis and Sam's there to fix it

As the weeks passed, Gabriel frequented Sam's dorm room more and more often, visiting whenever he could. These included times when one, or both of them had essays to work on, on his way to the coffee shop asking if Sam would like to join, or on his way back holding a cup telling Sam it was for him because he knew he had a 9am class. How his apartment was ‘on the way’ he didn’t know,because he was perfectly aware that the art dorms were closer, but if it made Gabriel happy, it made him happy.

He’d gotten a little attached to him if he was honest with himself, and waking up on a dismal Tuesday morning to his face and hot tea was a godsend. Half the time they’d end up curled up on Sam’s bed watching movies on Gabriel’s laptop screen. One time Gabriel had dragged them to the student lounge during Friday’s movie night and they’d watched Pirates of the Caribbean, Sam occasionally feeding Gabriel’s pieces of popcorn before the night divulged into general silliness.

Some nights Gabriel would have nightmares again, and the first thing he would do was message Sam on Facebook, meet him in the quad and they'd share some sort of snack, pointing out the constellations. One night Gabriel told Sam the story his mother had made up about the Night Weaver; a mystical man who placed the stars in the sky. Sam, with his head in Gabriel's lap, laughed quietly, the sound rumbling up Gabriel's thigh. He'd said about how he could imagine Gabriel as someone in charge of the stars. When Gabriel asked why Sam just shrugged and stretched his hands up as if trying to catch hold of the stars.  _'The way they sparkle reminds me of your eyes. Like they're planning something.'_ Gabriel couldn't stop himself smiling for a good few weeks after that.

**~*~**

This time Sam came back from a lecture to find Gabriel sat outside his door, legs crossed, pen in hand as he read from a textbook, bubblegum inflating before popping loudly.

 "We _have_ to stop meeting like this." Sam teased, leaning on the wall and looking down at the dusty blonde mop-haired drama student that was seemingly refusing to acknowledge his existence. “Gabe?” he frowned, kneeling beside the smaller man who shot him a sideways glare.  _ Well that wasn’t a normal Gabriel expression.  _ “Is - is everything…?” he stopped as Gabriel turned away, giving his textbook a filthy look.  _ Question answered, no, everything is not.  _ Sam stood up, unlocking his bedroom, watching Gabriel follow the door back, laying across the threshold with a forlorn expression on his face. He would have laughed if there wasn’t something obviously very wrong with Gabriel.

 “Why.” Of course, Gabriel was aware of why Sam had opened the door, his _why_ was directed more at the basic state of the universe rather than the law student letting himself into his own dorm room.

 “So we can come in?” Sam responded, stepping over him and sitting in his desk chair. Gabriel made a huffing noise and rolled over, rubbing his face on the scratchy carpet. “Gabriel, are you okay?” Sam was genuinely concerned now. Usually Gabriel wouldn’t shut up, talking about literally anything that came to mind. Now? He couldn’t ever wrangle a hello. And sure, he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Gabriel say it, mainly to affirm that there was something wrong and he wasn’t just hungover or something else along those lines.

 “No.” Again with the curtness. Gabriel sat up, grabbing his textbook before shuffling into the room and shutting the door. “It’s - nothing.” he lied, putting the book back in front of him. Sam watched him for a few more seconds.

 “If you’re sure and you don’t want to talk about it, then I’m gonna do some work. But throw something at me if you need me.” Gabriel nodded, not looking up at Sam.

**~*~**

Sam was halfway through a sentence when a neon green highlighter skittered onto his desk. He looked at it for a second. He pushed it to the side off the paper he’d been writing on before looking over at Gabriel, who was watching him, bottom lip wobbling.  _ Oh no.  _

 “Gabriel?” Sam said softly, putting his pen down, watching the smaller student.

 “Can - would - I need a hug.” Sam could barely hear him, but he got the word  _ hug,  _ which he decided was the most important part of that sentence. He got up, heading over to Gabriel, falling down beside him to drape an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. 

 “Hugs, I can do.” he whispered as Gabriel turned, wrapping both arms around Sam’s waist and burying his face in Sam’s chest. “Woah, Gabe, buddy, what the hell’s going on?” He put both arms around Gabriel, running a hand slowly up and down his back.This was a hug, what Gabriel had asked him for but it felt so sudden and seemingly desperate… he grew more worried as Gabriel didn’t respond to him again, just kept holding onto him.  

At least two minutes had passed Sam realised Gabriel wasn’t being as silent as he’d thought. A soft sniffle accompanied by a shuddering shoulder alerted him to the matter and he instantly hugged Gabriel tighter.  _ He was crying.  _ Sam had barely even seen Gabriel slightly off-colour, now he was crying into his chest.

 “He doesn’t - he doesn’t want me anymore.” Gabriel finally said, still firmly hidden against Sam’s tshirt.  

 “Who doesn’t?” He whispered, hand stilling on Gabriel’s back, resting now in the small of it. 

 “Dad.” Gabriel sat up a little, rubbing the back of his hand over his face and sniffing louder, free hand reaching into his jeans pocket for a tissue. “He called. He doesn’t want me home. Not for Christmas, not ever.” he blinked furiously, refusing to let himself cry more, not until he had a fucking tissue. 

“Your Dad can fuck off.” Sam said bluntly, stretching to grab a packet of tissues from the end of the bed where he’d discarded them earlier, dropping the packet into Gabriel’s lap. Gabriel tugged one out and blew his nose, crumpling in his hand.

 “I don’t know what I’m gonna do. Being alone on Christmas is one thing but him never wanting me back at all? What am I gonna do over summer break? Fucking wallow here in my shitty dorm room?” He threw the tissue violently towards the bin. Sadly, tissue isn’t a very heavy material, so instead of sailing across the room and landing in the plastic bin, it half-heartedly flew before landing  _ near  _ the bin. “And fuck you too.” he muttered at it, as if it could control its own density and fallen short on purpose. Sam snickered, and Gabriel cracked a small smile as well. 

 “Tha’s right Gabe, you tell that tissue.” Sam joked, tugging his small friend back close to him. “And fuck your dad. You’ll find somewhere to live. Garth’s?” Gabriel shook his head, leaning against Sam’s side.

 “Maybe. I dunno. I need to go tell the dorm staff I’m not going home over Christmas break - see if I can stay here or something. If not then....” he heaved a heavy sigh, trailing off and Sam tightened his hold around him. This wasn’t right. He couldn’t just let Gabriel be alone on Christmas fucking Day holed up in these shitty dorms. And what if he  _ couldn’t  _ stay here? 

 “Come back with me.” he blurted out, without really thinking about it.

 “What?”  _ yeah Sam, what?  _ He shoved his thoughts away, giving Gabriel a smile as he looked up at him. 

 “Don’t play the deaf card with me, you heard. Come spend Christmas with me. It’s only me and my older brother but-”

 “Sam if I could kiss you now, I would. Are you serious? Like actually fucking serious?” there was the familiar glint back in Gabriel’s eyes, and Sam couldn’t help but realise even though it’d been less than an hour and he’d  _ missed  _ that glint. And _ did Gabriel just mention kissing him oh god he did is that a thing he’s thought about FOCUS SAM FOCUS.  _

“Yeah, yeah I’m serious, no one deserv-” Gabriel tackled him to the floor, hugging him so tightly he could barely breathe.  _ So he wasn’t serious about the kissing. _

 “Sam, you are the fucking best.” he grinned at him, all dew-eyed and dopey and Sam melted, a replica of the grin appearing on his own face. 

 “Okay, okay before we go on about how amazing I am, I need to call my brother, let him know.” Gabriel nodded, nibbling at his lower lip in worry.  _ Please say it’s okay. _

They both stood, Sam grabbing his phone from the desk, Gabriel falling onto the bed, watching Sam as he hit what was obviously a speed dial, waiting for his brother to answer.

 “Dean, hey.” Sam said, giving Gabriel a thumbs up.  _ Step one: initiate contact. Status - complete.  _ “Listen, uh, I need to ask you about Christmas. Can I bring someone back with me?” Gabriel could hear the guffaw through the receiver and he wilted.  _ Thaaaat was a no. Step Two: failed.  _ “A what? No, no, not my girlfriend, you know we broke up Dean.” he mumbled, not looking at Gabriel. “Yes you did! I called you! Okay, whatever, we’re getting off topic. Can, or can’t Gabriel come?” Gabriel sat up, ready for the ‘no.’ “Is he my boyfriend?” Sam repeated, looking over at Gabriel who scrambled over to him, grabbing Sam’s discarded pen and scribbling on the paper on the desk - ignoring the half finished essay. 

 

_ I CAN PRETEND IF THAT’S OK W/ U. _

 

 “Yeah, yeah, he’s… he’s my boyfriend.” Gabriel was currently dangerous close to his ‘boyfriend’, their noses almost touching as he listened for a muffled  _ sounds good to me then, just remember to always practise safe se-  _ “OKAY DEAN THANKS BYE.” Sam hung up in a hurry, cheeks flushing red. Fucking brothers. 

 “So…?” Gabriel asked nervously, worrying his lip with his teeth. 

 “It’s all cool with him.” Gabriel relaxed, sitting on the floor again with a grin. 

 “Fuck yes! God Sam, you’re the best.” As Sam looked down at Gabriel who was reopening his textbook with that grin on his face, he couldn’t help but think  _ no, you. _


	5. The Queen Sized Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam remembers something he probably should have told Gabriel earlier.

Christmas came fast, and by the time it was the day before the start of Christmas break Sam was buzzing with nerves. He and Gabriel had been ‘practising’ the whole fake boyfriends thing that they were using to keep up the façade in front of Dean. 

The issue with this was that Dean knew that Sam was very tactile with his partners, meaning that Sam had to get used to holding Gabriel’s hand, wrapping his arm around him, and running his hand through Gabriel’s hair at random intervals. These were relatively easy tasks for him to complete because, well he and Gabriel were close by the 18th of December, especially with all the midnight trips to the quad.  The issue with this task? The more he touched Gabriel, the more he ran his hands through his hair, the more he found himself smiling at the mere sight of him, and the more he wrapped an arm around him, thumb tracing small soothing circles into his skin, the more Sam wished they weren’t  _ fake  _ dating.

Gabriel was having the same issue. Every time Sam reached up, tucking a strand of loose golden hair behind his ear, fingers lingering a split second too long on the shell he’d blush a light pink and have to pretend the room suddenly went up by 5 degrees. He couldn’t be crushing on Sam, he couldn’t be. Sam was letting him come back to his house for Christmas, helping him out and being way too nice to the over-excitable drama student. And how was he repaying him? By laying in his bed at night remembering the way Sam’s fingers felt laced through his. 

**~*~**

Sam threw his Christmas jumper into his duffel bag, grimacing at the bells on it as they gave a cheery jingle. Dean had a matching one, it was ‘family tradition’ according to him. Sam called bullshit on this, and claimed it was just yet another way for Dean to humiliate Sam in front of people. People being Gabriel. 

 “Hey there, candy cane!” a knock at the door alongside a Christmas themed nickname alerted him to a presence that could only be Gabriel.

 “Yes G-man?” he quipped back, ignoring the disgusted noise that Gabriel made at the nickname. He hummed quietly as he began digging in a drawer for the sprig of fake mistletoe he’d stolen from Dean last Christmas. He’d taken it mainly to see if he could get away with it, Dean was anal about his Christmas decorations. He  _ had  _ gotten away with it too until roughly two weeks ago when he got a very angry text that read  _ WHERE IS THE FUCKING MISTLETOE SAMUEL LEWIS WINCHESTER I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.  _

 “Is your family religious?” he shuffled his feet a little and Sam looked over at him. He hadn’t thought of that. Gabriel after all is the name of the Lord’s Messenger. If Gabriel was religious then… he pursed his lips in thought. He’d have to go to church with him on Christmas Day, it was only fair. And it wasn’t like they did anything before midday anyway, they had to wait for Dean to get his ass out of bed. 

 “No, but if you are there’s a church nearby, I’ll go with you.” he said, fingers closing around the crumpled plastic leaves of the mistletoe. “There you are, ya bastard.” he mumbled, shoving it into the his bag and zipping it up.

 “Oh thank  _ God, _ ” Gabriel paused to let out a bark of laughter. “No, I’m not, Dad was though. Bane of my existence, getting up at 8am to go to that freezing fucking church. In a  _ suit. _ ” Sam had to pause for a second as he imagined Gabriel in a suit and tie, and possibly a waistcoat, a pocket watch chain glinting softly in a dull light, a wistful smile on his face as if he’d just seen something he loved. Damn, fictional-Gabriel was hot. Not that real-Gabriel wasn’t but… fictional-Gabriel he was allowed to drool over. Not that he was drooling.  _ Maybe a little bit. _

 “Hah, nope, hell Dean doesn’t get up till gone midday, so we have plenty of time to sleep in and… chat.” he finished lamely, not sure what they were supposed to do. Chat, chat was good. He could chat without making the biggest asshole of himself, right?

**~*~**

 “Sammy!” Dean shouted, grabbing his brother and pulling him into a crushing hug, hand thumping on his back and Sam laughed, doing the same back to Dean.

 “Hey Dean, how you been?”

 “Not bad, not bad, shop got a bit hectic around beginning of November, too many assholes drinking and driving.” he grumbled, grabbing Sam’s bag and spotting Gabriel who was half hiding behind Sam.  _ Was everyone in the Winchester family a fucking tree?  _ “Gabe, yeah?” Dean said, holding out a hand. Gabriel shook it. 

 “Yeah, I’m Gabriel.” he watched Dean’s face carefully, looking for a flicker of… something. Disgust? Disappointment? Approval? He wasn’t sure, but waiting for it was making him feel more and more nervous. Finally, Dean broke out into a smile. 

 “Short. But you did good Sammy, seems nice.” he winked at his younger brother, shouldering his way into the house. 

 “He doesn’t need your approval Dean!” Sam called after him, grabbing Gabriel’s hand and dragging him into the house. “And of course he’s nice, I’m dating him, and I don’t date assholes like  _ someone  _ I know.” he let go of Gabriel to grab his brother, putting him in a headlock. Gabriel smirked at the childish brotherly behaviour and turned to close the door, only to be greeted by an older man trudging down the stairs, tsking at the brothers. 

 “Boys!” he grumbled and Sam looked up, hair falling in front of his face, but from where Gabriel was standing he could see the radiant smile on his face.

 “Mr. Winchester, uh, hi, I’m Gabriel.” he said, running his left hand through his hair, extending his right to who he was assuming was their father.

 “Mr Winchester? Boy please, I’m not their father-”

 “Shoulda been.” Dean mumbled, and Sam gave his hair a tiny tug, watching the exchange between Gabriel and Bobby.

 “Dean’s right, I shoulda been, their old man.... Singer, Bobby Singer.” he shook Gabriel’s hand firmly. “You’re Sam’s new squeeze huh?” he looked over at Sam, who still had Dean in a headlock. “Sam, drop your brother.” Sam did, enjoying the way Dean hadn’t expected him to respond to quickly and therefore ended up sprawled on the floor.

 “Yes Sir.” he yelped as Dean smacked him in the shin and he half skipped over to Gabriel, arm snaking around his shoulders and he tugged him closer, lips brushing Gabriel’s ear in a barely-there kiss. Gabriel froze before remembering  _ yes, right, pretend boyfriends, yeah.  _ “And yeah, this is Gabriel. Isn’t he cute.” Sam cooed in a mushy voice and Gabriel wrinkled his nose, shoving at Sam. 

 “Ew Winchester, gross, enough with the schmoop!” Gabriel scowled at him and Bobby gave out a gravelly laugh, ruffling Gabriel’s hair as he walked past him on the way to the fridge. 

 “I like this one, did well for yourself there Sam.” he popped the beer bottle cap off, taking a swig and surveying the rag-tag trio in front of him. “G’on kid, take your bags up to your room and have yourself a rest, travellin’s tiring.” he gave Sam a pointed look that made him gather up his bags in no time, and Gabriel followed him upstairs into Sam’s room.

Sam’s room was pretty empty what with most of his home comfort stuff being in the dorm room, but it still was a comfy looking place, a band poster on the wall over his bed, dusty sticky notes still clinging to the wall with random snippets of information scrawled on them. Then he glanced over at the bed.

The queen sized bed.

The only bed in the room.

_ Of course. _

 “Shit - I forgot to mention we’d have to share a bed, I - fuck Gabe, I’m sorry.” he flinched. Great. Not only did he have a huge crush on Gabriel, but now they had to share a bed for a week and a half.

 “Hey man, it’s no worries, we can deal. Though I didn’t bring any pj pants, I tend to sleep in a shirt and boxers.” Sam dumped their bags at the end of the bed and began to remove the sticky notes from the wall. 

 “I didn’t bring any pj shirts - I sleep shirtless.” Gabriel bit back a small whine.  _ He’d get to see Sam shirtless again.  _ Last time he’d seen him shirtless he’d only been at the door a few seconds before he’d decided Sam was the most attractive man he’d ever met, how was he supposed to cope sleeping next to a shirtless Sam every night? God help him.

Dinner was an amicable affair, fuelled by brotherly teasing between Sam and Dean and exasperated eye rolling from Bobby, and the first time in a long time Gabriel felt like he was at home. At around 9pm they went to bed, Sam in his trousers, and Gabriel in his shirt. They fell asleep both curled up, facing away from one another, Gabriel’s hand tucked under his chin, Sam’s against his chest.

**~*~**

Morning however was a more awkward affair. Gabriel in his sleep had rolled over and snuggled himself up to Sam, wrapping his arms around one of Sam’s and cuddling it, cheek pressed to Sam’s bicep. Sam woke up first, noticing his arm had been effectively stolen, he laid back against the pillows, eyes half open, watching Gabriel sleep, his chest rising and falling slowly. Sam felt a pang of emotion for the smaller of them, a swell of affection that took him in and took him over.


	6. Fairy Light Glows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel talks to Bobby :D

Gabriel woke with a start, chest heaving and a cold sheet of sweat on his face. Nightmares. Motherfucking nightmares. He shook his head, climbing out of the bed, trying not to wake Sam up, pulling his jeans on.  He needed to get out the room, get some fresh air maybe, just,  _ get away  _ from the room, that always seemed to help. He dragged the blanket he’d been asleep under around his shoulders like a cape, padding down the stairs into the living room, mouth dry and head buzzing. 

He hated the nightmares. Hated the way they felt so realistic and vivid, hated the way they got under his skin and clung there like parasites, biting away at him, wearing him down. This time it’d been a rather standard one by Gabriel’s terms, just a pure memory based dream; his other brother shouting at him, screaming, asking how he could choose himself over them.  _ You have to learn to make sacrifices Gabriel!  _ screamed dream-Lucifer and he shuddered at the memory. He could wake Sam, but at the same time he'd never had to actually wake him up when he'd had a nightmare before, Sam was always just awake anyway. Sam had seemed tired today as well so...

As he got into the living room, the red and green fairy lights illuminating the small area around the Christmas tree he noticed someone sitting there, a glass in hand.

 “Bobby?” Bobby turned, eyes wide before grunting and relaxing back into the cushions. 

 “Jeez kid, give a guy a warnin’ before you sneak up on ‘im, ya idjit.” he grumbled, taking a sip of Gabriel thought was some form of alcohol. “Whatchu doin’ up this time of night anyway?”

Gabriel shuffled in the blanket and Bobby got the gist of what was going on, moving over a little and patting beside him. “Sit.” Gabriel did so, pulling his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them, looking over at Bobby. Now he was this close he could tell it  _ was  _ alcohol, whiskey, and a decent one. “What’s eatin’ ya?”

 “Thinkin’ ‘bout my family.” he said truthfully. Seeing Sam, Dean and Bobby over the past few days had really shown him how dysfunctional his own family had been. How spending the whole time in a tense silence just waiting for someone to explode  _ wasn’t  _ healthy. “Thinking ‘bout my Dad, and how he didn’ want me this year. An’ how my brothers prob’ly didn’ try and convince him to let me come.” Lucifer probably whooped for joy when he found out Gabriel wasn’t coming home. 

Bobby let out a heavy sigh and he put his drink down on the small table beside him, staring at the Christmas tree with an intense focus. 

 “You wanna know how I ended up their ‘father’?” Gabriel made a noise of agreement. “John Winchester was a sick man.” He didn’t take his eyes off the tree, and Gabriel tipped his head slightly, listening.

 “Sick?”

 “Yeah. Mary, his wife, and their mother, died when Sam was only 6 months old. It...  _ changed  _ John. He wouldn’t stop looking for a ‘who’ behind her death, despite the fact nearly everyone knew that it was an electrical fire, a freak accident.” He picked his glass back up and took a swig, staring into the glass pensively. Gabriel watched him, waiting for him for gather his words.  “I eventually convinced him to leave Sam and Dean with me. All he was doin’ was driving around the country, following electrical storms and freak murders, convinced it was the same person, or thing, that killed Mary. Sam was 8 and hadn’t had a solid bedroom or education _. _ So I told him leave the boys with me, I’ll raise ‘em, keep ‘em safe so he could go ‘find’ Mary’s murderer.” Bobby let out a heavy sigh, tilting the brim of his tattered baseball cap down. “He did.” he looked over at Gabriel, who was wide-eyed in shock at the story. “I adopted two boys, and in my eyes? They grew up to be heroes. I mean look at what Sam did for you? You two aren’t even dating - don’t lie to me ya idjit I can see it clear as day, Dean not so much - but he invited you here because you had nothin’ just like he used to. Damn kid’s a hero.”

Gabriel wet his lips, taking in all the information Bobby had just dropped on him like a bag of fucking bricks. He didn’t even care Bobby knew he and Sam weren’t dating. Sam had grown up with Bobby after having his father cart him round the country on a wild goose chase?

 “Gabriel.” Bobby said, and he blinked.

 “Yeah?”

 “If I need to adopt a third son, then I’m gonna, cause to me, family don’t end in blood.” Gabriel could do nothing but nod, and Bobby reached over, ruffling his hair and Gabriel grinned at him. 

A noise from the doorway made Gabriel look over, and he spotted Sam standing there, looking rather forlorn, hair a mess and a loose pair of grey pyjama bottoms hanging low on his hips. Gabriel felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw him. 

 “Gabe?” he mumbled, heading over to the sofa. Bobby stood up, patting Sam on the shoulder. 

 “I’m going to bed boys, have a good’un.” he said, before heading up the stairs. Sam flopped onto the sofa Bobby had been sat, reaching out and grabbing Gabriel, dragging him across the sofa and into his arms. Gabriel let out a small squeak but didn’t complain. He looked up at Sam through his eyelashes and he found it impossible to breathe all of a sudden. The way the lights on the Christmas tree illuminated Sam’s face, the soft glow making his eyes seem more gentle than usual and Gabriel swallowed.

  "You okay there Sam?" He asked softly, and Sam sighed softly, shaking his head. 

  "Didn't wake me up when you had a nightmare. Wanna look after you Gabe, wanna make sure you're  _okay._ " The words sunk into Gabriel who wasn't sure how he was supposed to react to them, all he could do was chew on his bottom lip and wait for Sam to speak again hopefully. But he didn't.

 “You’re starin’ at me Sam…” his voice was tiny, and he cursed himself for it, wishing he could dig up some of his usual bravado from somewhere. 

 “Why wouldn’ I be?” Sam’s voice was still rough from sleep, and that should  _ not  _ be sparking butterflies in Gabriel’s stomach, but god it was.

 “‘cause I’m… me. I’m jus’ Gabe. Drama student, sugar addiction, no family.” he ducked his head, giving it a small shake so his hair fell into his eyes like a curtain. Bobby didn’t mean what he’d said, there was no way he could. Why would he want  _ him?  _ Why would he want someone whose own family didn’t want them? Sam’s hand moved, finger curling under Gabriel’s chin, lifting his chin up, the other hand pushing the hair off his face.

 “Gabriel, that’s  _ why  _ I’m staring at you. ‘cause you’re  _ you.  _ You’re so fucking perfect, and I can’t understand why your Dad doesn’t want you, why you’re still  _ single  _ when I have felt more happy in the past few days of fake dating you than I have in my entire goddamn life.” Gabriel’s entire existence was screaming at him to pull away, to stop this, to stop Sam, but he couldn’t.

“Sam - kiddo, I’m a mess, and you know this, you’ve seen me after my Dad called and -”

 “Yeah, I did, and anyone would be a goddamn wreck if their  _ dad  _ just told him he didn’t want him anymore. My dad was fucked up, but he always wanted me and Dean. He always wanted us safe. He still calls, sends letters, check in on us.” Gabriel scrunched up his nose and wiped at his face furiously, determined not to cry. “Gabriel I can’t believe you  _ can’t  _ see this.”

 “See what Sam? See someone who can’t stand up for himself, can only stand up for other people? The last time I stood up for myself I was protecting someone else on top of that! See someone who - whose own family don’t want them? See someone who can’t reach out to people even when they need them the most -” Before he could finish what he was saying, Sam’s lips were on his. 


	7. Get Your Bagels Away From Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *bagels fall out of pockets* shit son too many bagels

Gabriel couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t _move_. All there was in his world right now was the sound of his blood rushing in his ears, and the soft feeling of Sam’s lips against his. He panicked, but he couldn’t pull away, not from something he’d wanted for so many months. So he didn’t. He knew that Sam was probably just half-asleep babbling and didn’t really mean it, but in the meantime, he let himself melt into the gentle kiss, a smile finally appearing on his face.

And then it stopped. He licked his lips as they pulled away, noses touching before he heard Sam whisper  _ holy shit.  _

 “Same.” Sam laughed softly, pressing his nose against Gabriel’s, kissing him again, and again, each time as feather light as the last. This was  _ real,  _ this was actually happening, Sam Winchester was  _ actually  _ kissing Gabriel Novak and Gabriel didn’t know how to respond other than kissing him back every time.

 “I-” Sam finally broke the content silence again, tucking a strand of Gabriel’s hair behind his ear, thumb following the curve of the shell. “I’ve wanted to do that for ages. I just - I didn’t want to do it, and not have you feel the same way. You… you do feel the same way, right?”

Now it was Gabriel turn to laugh, moving a little to sit in Sam’s lap.

 “Sam, if I didn’t feel the same way would I have kissed you back every time you just kissed me?”

 “True, true.” Sam’s voice got hushed again, one hand resting on Gabriel’s cheek, keeping him still, millimetres from Sam’s lips. He could feel his breath on his face and he wanted to lean in, kiss him again, run his hands through Sam’s hair and hold him close but he couldn’t make himself move. “So uh - this… this fake dating thing we’ve got going on…” Gabriel licked his lips carefully, trying not to touch Sam’s and he looked up slightly, their gazes meeting. “Do you wanna… y’know… make it… not fake?” Gabriel nodded, slightly, and then more vigorously. 

 “I - yeah, yeah, not fake, not fake dating sounds good to me.” he grinned, and Sam looked like he was going to  _ burst  _ as he wrapped his arms around Gabriel, fingers lacing together over the small of Gabriel’s back, holding him close. Gabriel felt all the tension from the nightmare ebb from him at that moment, and he relaxed into Sam, head resting on his shoulder, eyes drifting closed in the gentle glow of the Christmas tree. 

**~*~**

In the morning Bobby came down the stairs to make himself a coffee, moving the net curtain in the kitchen window to one side to see the porch covered in a thick layer of snow, and flakes still falling from the sky. He smiled softly at the sight, pouring boiling water into his cup and giving it a slow stir, the smell of fresh coffee leaking into the air. He went to sit on the sofa and stopped, eyebrows raising at the sight in front of him.

They’d not moved back upstairs, but in fact fallen asleep on the sofa. They’d rolled slightly though, so the sight Bobby was greeted with was Gabriel squished between Sam and the back of the sofa, his face buried in Sam’s chest. Sam’s arm was over his waist and tucked just under Gabriel’s shirt to rest on his lower back, and his face was hidden in Gabriel’s hair. He couldn’t help but stand there and stare for a short while, because they looked so serene and calm in each other’s arms. He tiptoed around them, turning the lights off on the Christmas tree, plunging the room into a dark grey light and Gabriel made a small noise. Still predominantly asleep Sam made a quiet  _ shhhh  _ sound, tugging Gabriel tighter against him, something that settled the smaller of them back into a peaceful sleep.

Bobby went back into the kitchen, sitting at the table and sipping his coffee slowly, listening to the soft sound of the two boys breathing on the couch. Dean came down soon after Bobby, eyes still half closed and Bobby gestured for him to be quiet as he jabbed a thumb in the direction of the couch. Dean frowned and went to look, before grinning at the sight. 

 “Fuckin’ adorable. What the hell. Like, what the fuck Sammy. You’re my little brother, you were meant to stop being adorable after you were like ten so who the fuck gave you the right to start being it again now.” Bobby threw a bagel at him to get him to shut up and Dean took a frustrated bite, still grumbling about the couple of the sofa before realising he has a mouthful of plain dry bread and looking so dismayed Bobby spat his coffee out in amusement.

As Bobby made himself and Dean another coffee a soft mumble from the sofa drew their attention and Sam sat up, eyes half closed, looking around, trying to register what was going on and why he’d woken up in a room that didn’t belong to him. When he noticed Dean and Bobby his eyes shot open and he realised what had happened, sheepish smile spreading across his face. 

 “Oh… morning.” Gabriel too sat up, leaning his forehead on Sam’s shoulder. 

 “Saaammmmm… who you sayin’ mornin’ t-!” He ducked as Dean frisbee’d a bagel at Sam, who caught it as if he’d known it was coming. Bobby rolled his eyes at the synergy the Winchester brothers demonstrated and held up a coffee mug at Sam, a silent gesture that Sam responded to with a “yes please, Gabe?”

 “Mm? Yeah, three sugars p’ease.” he was still half asleep and confused over the fact that they a) weren’t in Sam’s bed and b) why Dean was throwing bagels at Sam. “Dean for the love of God stop throwing bread circles at Sam.” he snapped as he launched one back, smacking the older Winchester on the forehead with a satisfying  _ plap _ . Bobby howled in laughter, and Gabriel felt his chest swell in pride. He’d never made his own father laugh that hard.

**~*~**

Christmas Eve in the Novak household used to be tense. Michael and Lucifer were usually in the middle of an argument, or had just finished one, meaning that he, Castiel and Samandriel would be sat in the living room playing a card game in total silence. Samandriel was the youngest, therefore they usually played what he wanted - which was always Go Fish. Instead of speaking though they’d just shake their head, and the other would get the message. The Singer-Winchester household however? The four of them were playing the loudest game of Go Fish ever possible.

 “There’s no way you don’t have the seven Gabe, I swear you’re cheating,” Dean protested as Sam picked up yet another card from the pile. 

 “Would I dare?” he shuffled his cards around before handing Bobby the two 6s in his hand. “You hear that Sam? He’s accusing your boyfriend of cheating. On  _ you. _ ” Sam rolled his eyes and pressed his knee against Gabriel’s under the table. 

 “Dean, how dare you accuse my dear darling boyfriend of cheating?” Sam scolded, and Dean literally threw his cards at him. 

 “He HAS the damn seven!” Bobby looked like he was about to kill Dean as he stared at the Jack of Hearts that was now resting in his glass of whiskey. 

 “Hey, Bobby… go fish.” Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows as he spotted the card and Sam cracked up, dropping the cards on the table and doubling over. Bobby took the card out the glass and shook it, mumbling about ‘bloody Winchester boys’ but there was a slight smile on his face as he did. 

 “C’mon Gabe, let’s go upstairs before Dean accuses you of cheating again.” Gabriel agreed with Sam, following him up into the room. They hadn’t been alone together all day, not since last night, and he wanted to talk to Sam, talk about their  _ relationship.  _ Sam called him his boyfriend in front of Dean, although that could just be him still tagging along with the fake-dating thing for Dean’s sake, and trying to not make it look like a couple of awkward teenagers who’d only decided they were dating the night before.

**~*~**

As soon as the door closed he cleared his throat, turning to Sam to say something but before he can Sam’s lips had captured his in a kiss he’d been waiting for all day, Sam’s arm around his waist, pulling him close, so close he thought he could feel Sam’s heartbeat through his shirt. Sam pulled back after a few seconds,  dopey grin on his face. 

 “Sorry, I just - I needed to kiss you again. Just not in front of Dean or Bobby. I - this is so new I wanted it to be special y’know?” he tucked Gabriel’s hair behind his ear and Gabriel nodded, the strand falling back into his face. Sam chuckled and let Gabriel go.

They ended up sat on the bed, cross-legged, talking to one another about how they felt, about how they _did_ want this, did want this _relationship_ , how this was something that they both could see as being a _good_ thing, something that could genuinely go somewhere.

The next morning Gabriel’s beliefs that it could go somewhere were reaffirmed by Sam waking him up with a gentle kiss to the temple and a whisper of ‘Merry Christmas Gabriel’ that made him smile and think about how he could honestly get used to hearing that sleep gravelled voice. He could get used to rolling over and being greeted with a lazy kiss, and he could  _definitely_ get used to grinding his hips against Sam's morning wood, drawing a low groan from the taller, Sam's hands slipping behind Gabriel to grab his ass and squeeze softly. 

Oh yeah, he could get used to all of this.


	8. You Don't Need to Tell Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More nightmares~~~

Christmas Day went by being almost _normal_. Dean was a grumpy asshole who wasn’t impressed with the whole having to get out of bed thing, Bobby was just… well, Bobby, and Sam and Gabriel spent the whole day embracing the way that they were now  _ not  _ fake dating, meaning that every time Gabriel’s leg brushed Sam’s under the dinner table it was intentional, not to keep up appearances. 

It meant that as they were cuddled up on the sofa together, Gabriel between Sam’s legs with his back flush to Sam’s chest, and Sam began idly playing with Gabriel’s hair, it wasn’t done because Dean might suspect something otherwise, but because he wanted to. It meant that when Sam pressed his lips to Gabriel’s in a chaste kiss when he thought Dean wasn’t looking, it wasn’t because he had to, it was because he wanted to. And the thought that Sam wanted all of this, wanted  _ Gabriel,  _ was the best Christmas present he could have ever wished for.

**~*~**

A choked whine coming from his own throat woke Gabriel at 3am on Boxing Day morning. He rolled over, rubbing his face into the pillow he was sleeping on and sighed slowly before pushing the blankets off, heading to the bathroom. Nightmares. Again. Mother _ fucking  _ nightmares. He stumbled over his own feet slightly as he walked, hand coming up to grab the door frame of the bathroom as he entered before turning on the light and squinting at the brightness. He stood in front of the sink, closing the door with his foot and turning on the cold tap, catching the water in his hands and splashing it onto his face. He looked up at himself in the mirror that was chipped at the edges and he stared at his own reflection.

He let his fingers drift over his own face, pressing against the dark shadow under his eyes, along the line of his nose, over the stubble that dappled his jaw, chin and lower cheeks. He stared at himself, watching himself stare back and he breathed out slowly, breath clouding the mirror -  _ ((You have to think of other people Gabriel))  _ \- over. He gritted his teeth, staring down into the sink, watching -  _ ((You never do anything for anyone who isn’t you, why do you even bother denying it anymore))  _ \- water droplets race down the curve and down the drain. His head began to spin as Lucifer’s voice echoed around his head. 

 “Go away.” he whispered to himself, head snapping up, eyes wild and bright as he could have sworn his reflection smirked at him. “Get away from me, you don’t - you’re not the boss of me.” his voice quivered as he spoke, shaking his head, pupils dilating as his head swum. Reflections can’t move there’s no way it’s not a -

_ Knock. _

He looked at the door, trying to calm his rushed breathing, trying to make himself look less like he was about to fly off the handle. 

 “Gabriel?” a hushed voice came through the door. Sam. He felt the muscles in his shoulder relax slightly and he pushed the bolt with his thumb, pulling on the handle and letting the door swing open. Sam looked down at him for a second, damp face, hair askew and he stepped forward, arm wrapping around Gabriel’s waist. “I got you.” Gabriel let out a shuddering breath and let Sam pick him up, turn off the light and carry him back to their room.

Gabriel didn’t want to speak about the nightmares. He didn’t want to tell Sam about Lucifer, about the way it used to be. A soothing hand ran through his hair and he leant into the touch, eyes closed. Sam kissed his forehead gently and kept stroking his hair, gently guiding them from a sitting to a laying position, Gabriel across his chest. 

 “You don’t need to tell me what happens in them Gabriel, not if you don’t want to. But if there is anything I can do, let me know. I'm here for you okay?”

 “Just... don’t leave me alone.” Gabriel whispered, the mere thought of it making him feel sick to his stomach. Sam nodded, holding Gabriel closer. 

 “I won’t. But if you need something like a glass of water, you tell me and I - we will go get it.” Gabriel nodded. “I got you.” Sam’s voice was quiet and calming and Gabriel tilted his chin up towards it. “Nightmares can’t get you Gabriel, I swear.” Gabriel closed his eyes and hummed in agreement, lips crooking into a smile as Sam brushed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

**~*~**

He wasn’t sure when he fell back asleep, but he was sure that when he woke up he was curled up against Sam’s chest still, and Sam was still curled up around him, a protective hand on his hip fingers splayed wide to cover more surfaces. He was sure that Sam kept hold of his hand and stroked the back of it with this thumb because he’d said he didn’t want to be alone. So Sam wouldn’t let him feel alone. And that to him was what mattered. 

He didn’t just stand nearby and tell Gabriel “you’re not alone”. He watched Gabriel leave a room and followed seconds later, hand on Gabriel’s lower back and a smile on his face. He pulled Gabriel into his lap and teased his hair with his hands for a little while before burying his face in it, closing his eyes. The whole thing made Gabriel laugh, Sam’s efforts being way over anything he’d ever thought someone would go to for him but he wasn’t complaining about that, not when it meant he was cuddled up to Sam.


	9. The Great Jelly bean Incident of '09

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> J E L L Y B E A N S

If Gabriel was perfectly honest, Charlie had had it coming. For a numerous amount of reasons.  Not only had she stolen Sam’s phone during a lecture and sent Gabriel some very… explicit texts that’d gotten him all riled up during drama practise, but she’d interrupted them  _ three times  _ during their ‘private boyfriend nights’ as they came to refer to them. She always used the same excuse, that her homework was in there, and somehow it was every single time. She had her own.... unique way of entering too.

The phone incident happened just after they had come back from the Winchester-Singer house in January and had both rather sheepishly told their respective roommates they were in fact dating. Garth had given Gabriel a pat on the back and told him that honestly? He’d seen it coming. Charlie however had danced around Sam’s room singing  _ I told you so I told you so _ as she was insistent she’d predicted it happening. Sam hated to admit he was right.

**~*~**

It was the beginning of February when she’d done the homework thing first. She’d kicked the door so it flew open, startling them both much Sam had broken the skin on Gabriel’s lip, and shouted  _ PLAYER THREE HAS ENTERED THE GAME.  _ Sam’s retort was a disgruntled ‘Player One is gonna rip Player Three’s batteries out if they don’t leave the game soon.’

 Gabriel just wanted to know why he was Player Two.

**~*~**

The second time it was months later, in the middle of April when the door had creaked open so slowly they hadn’t noticed until Gabriel threw Sam’s shirt and she let out a muffled cry of surprise as it landed on her back. Turns out she’d tried to be sneaky this time, crawling across the floor James Bond style. It was only when he spoke to her later she’d admitted she had had her earphones in listening to the Mission Impossible theme tune as she’d done it. 

 Gabriel told her it really was mission impossible, and so she smacked him.

**~*~**

The third time was the most impressive despite the fact Sam denied it. Room 27 was on the second floor - and during the summer months it got very warm in Sam’s room,  _ especially  _ when Gabriel was in there with him. So it was a lazy June day, both had cancelled classes due to the lack of air conditioning in their lecture halls and they’d decided to make the most of the free time. They were making a lot of their free time as well, both shirtless and panting (not due to the heat) when a thump made them look at the window that Charlie was half way through, red hair over her face as she scrabbled at the carpet, dragging herself into the room and landing on the floor. She’d stood up, adjusted her tank top and tugged her shorts down over her thighs before picking up her essay and leaving the room via the door as if nothing had happened. 

 Gabriel still doesn’t know how she got up there.

**~*~**

So she had it coming. Both of them could agree with this. Sam had the most basic ideas, airhorns behind a door, cups of water in the room type deal. No, Gabriel had a  _ much  _ better idea. One morning as he headed to drama he linked elbows with Balthazar, an English student over to study politics and he dragged him towards the art rooms.

 “Woah there Gabey, what’s the rush?” he’d asked, brow furrowed at the shorter student who was walking with such deliberate intent Balthazar was worried someone had fucked with him. Or worse, Sam. 

 “Me and Sammy got a nosy little intruder. Figured she should find out the hard way the consequences of blue balling me.” Balthazar laughed, throwing his arm over Gabriel’s shoulders. Now  _ this  _ was a plan he could get behind.

As Gabriel and Balthazar slipped into the two chairs opposite Sam at lunch time, grins on their faces, he was worried. 

 “What have you been doing?” he asked, watching Gabriel take a Digestive from Balthazar and bite into it enthusiastically. 

 “Mmmm?” he hummed through a mouthful of bread and he shook his head shrugging. Sam squinted at him but said nothing more, making meaningless chatter with Balthazar about the newest teacher in the humanities section. Sam couldn’t drag his mind away from the notion that they were up to something. Gabriel was a well renowned prankster at the school, and Balthazar was known for having the cunning and intelligence to pull off any prank Gabriel could… if he so wished. As Gabriel turned his head to look over at a shouting match on the other side of the cafeteria and something caught his eye, a small sparkle just above Gabriel’s collar. He licked his thumb and leant over the table, rubbing at it and frowning as he withdrew his hand, staring at the glitter on his thumb. 

 “Why is there  _ glitter  _ on your neck Gabriel?” Sam raised his eyebrows at Gabriel who turned back to him, eyes wide, a ‘I’m-innocent-I-swear’ look on his face. 

 “‘m fabulous darling.” his response made Sam laugh long enough he didn’t notice Balthazar reach up and wipe another smudge of glitter from his own ear.

**~*~**

  “GABRIEL STEVEN NOVAK YOU BETTER BE IN THERE BECAUSE IF NOT THIS SHOUTING IS POINTLESS.” Charlie’s fist pounded on Sam’s door, waking both boys up from an evening nap they hadn’t planned to take but had happened anyway the second they both curled up together in Sam’s bed. Sam scowled, first at the door, and then at Gabriel. 

 “What did you  _ do _ ?” Sam stood up and opened the door, the look on his face going from pissed off at the rude awakening to pure childish glee, doubling over in laughter. Charlie shoved past him into the room leaving a trail of glitter behind her. 

 “I KNOW THIS HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU.” She shouted, gesturing the silver and green glitter that was clinging to her, head to toe. Sam was leaning on the wall by the door wheezing, and just as he thought he had it under control he looked over and doubled over again. 

 “And what if it does?” Gabriel crooned, a smirk curling across his face. 

 “WHY?” she was still shouting, and Gabriel just raised an eyebrow, laying back down and tucking his hands under his head. 

 “Why not? Hey, at least it’s Slytherin col-”

 “I’m gonna Slytherin to that fucking bed in a second and cover  _ you  _ in the damn glitter if you don’t explain to me why the hell this happened.” She folded her arms and tapped her foot, trying to be threatening without it actually working. Gabriel decided that no one could look threatening covered in glitter, but he humoured her anyway. 

 “Maybe you should let me and Sammykins over there have some guy time huh?” he sat up then, leaning his chin in his hands. “Because if I’d been busy with Sam maybe I wouldn’t have had the time to set up the glitter explosion huh?” Charlie looked from him to Sam and then back to him, looking offended as if she was trying to deny the allegations against her.

 “Right. Fine.  _ Have  _ sex with Sam, but you  _ watch  _ this space okay, you fucking watch it, because you are you to pay for this Gabriel Novak.” she spun around, storming out the room, hands in fists by her side. 

 “Whatever you say twinkletoes!” he called after her and Sam closed the door, looking at the glittery mess on the floor and then at Gabriel. 

 “You seriously glitter bombed her?” Gabriel shrugged, patting the bed beside him as Sam came back over.

 “She was interrupting us all the time and I thought I’d give her a lesson, ‘cause one of these times I’d like to-” Before he could finish his sentence Sam's mouth was on his and they were kissing. Gabriel smiled against Sam's lips, his hands carding through Sam's hair as Sam pushed him down against the leg, knee nudging his thighs apart. Gabriel broke the kiss with a sharp gasp at the first red hot flash of friction and Sam chuckled, lip trailing over his jawbone and neck.

“You got her to leave us alone, at least for today, so I think we should enjoy the peace and quiet we're bound to have.” his voice was low and growly, and the mere sound of it made Gabriel's heart race as their hips pressed flush together.

“Yeah, fuck, I agree.” he tugged on Sam's hair, tilting his head up so they could kiss again with gasps and whispered moans of the others name.

**~*~**

Charlie wasn’t joking about revenge. The revenge came two week later in the form of a bucket of lime flavoured jelly balanced above the door of his dorm. Gabriel admitted, this was a good prank and he’d have been put off the dessert for months if he’d ended up covered in it. That was of course if the prank had gone to plan. See, the issue with jelly is that it’s pretty heavy when it’s just sat by itself in one dense load, so when Gabriel opened his door what  _ actually  _ happened was the bucket fell straight down, landing on his head and caused him to black out for 1 minute and 47 seconds (Garth counted, he claimed it was for science.) The entire thing caused Sam to have  _ kittens  _ in worry, and he decided that the prank war should “end now please? Someone’s only going to get hurt again.” Sam had sighed, putting his tray down in the cafeteria. 

 “But Sam, I am Gabriel, I am the trickster, I can’ t  _ not  _ prank her back!” he protested, slamming his own tray down in disgust that Sam had suggested he didn’t prank her back. Of course, for what he was planning? He’d need help.

**~*~**

A copy of Charlie’s timetable in hand, he, Balthazar, Ash and Garth waited for it to be one o’clock when she would be in a lecture for certain. Balthazar’s watch beeped and they piled into the building, backpacks rustling, and a grin on Gabriel’s face. They grabbed her bedsheets, removing the pillow and duvet, and refilled the covered with millions of jellybeans. 

 “Why are we doing this again?” Garth asked halfway through emptying Charlie’s t-shirt drawer into a black bag and replacing them with, surprise surprise, more jellybeans.

 “Bradbury gotta learn Garthy, Bradbury gotta learn.” Ash answered for Gabriel, who nodded in agreement. “I’m just glad I’m not the one on the receiving end.” they all laughed, finishing up the job. Every drawer of clothing she owned had been replaced with jelly beans (except her underwear, they’d all looked at the outside of the drawer - who the fuck even labels their drawers anyway - and decided they didn’t want to know whether Charlie was a boyshorts or a thong kind of a girl.) and they were leaving the building when Gabriel’s phone rung. 

 “‘Allo?” he beamed when he heard Sam’s confused voice asking him about the Christmas tree in the lobby, complete with tinsel, fake snow and several oversized baubles. “Ah, that’s part of the plan.”

 “Plan? What plan? Gabriel it’s the middle of July where did you even get a Christmas tree from?”

 “Ebay.”

**~*~**

Something was off the second Charlie walked into the building. She stopped, looking around, pushing open every door with her foot before she walked through them in case they were booby trapped, and she took a tip from Hermione and looked around every corner with a mirror before heading around it. There was nothing she could  _ see  _ that was off, and that was what worried her. And then she got onto her corridor. Fake snow covered the ground, and there was tinsel and mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, wreaths on every door. Charlie stopped dead, staring at the wintery scene in front of her. A large Christmas tree sat right in front of her doorway and she squinted at it. Now  _ that  _ was suspicious. As she stepped closer to it, she noticed that the decorations on it were card letters, decorated in glitter.

_ R E V E N G E  _ the tree spelt out, and Charlie swore, trying to batter past the fake foliage and into her bedroom. Jo was Charlie’s neighbour and was currently harbouring four pranksters in her room, all ears pressed to the wall as they heard the lock of Charlie’s door turn. 

 “NOVAK YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Gabriel put his hand over his mouth to bite back a laugh. “What the fu- every drawer? Oh god not my underwear, anything but my underwear, I do not want that position in possession of Gabriel Steven fucking… okay seems untouched… where the fuck did he even get this many jellybeans, what he do, suck off the fucking president of the jellybean factory?” At that Ash barks out a laugh, and they hear Charlie shout. “Jo? You alright? That didn’t sound like- GABRIEL!” the four boys blanched and ran for the door, Gabriel leading the pack and sprinting down the hall, sneakers slipping on the fake snow as Charlie fought through tree branches to get back into the hall. 

 “Run lads!” Gabriel shouted, skidding to a  halt by the stairs, leaping up and sliding down the bannister, jumping the last four steps and running out into the square in front of the building, checking he wasn’t being followed. As Gabriel gasped in deep breaths of air Ash ran past him, vaulting onto his motorbike, Garth following him into it and they shot off down the road. Balthazar grabbed Gabriel by the elbow, dragging him towards Balthazar’s own bike, jamming a cycle helmet into his hands as they both clambered on, grinning like fools as a flustered Charlie appeared from the front door. 

 “Giddy up baby girl.” Balthazar revved the motorbike and they drove over, Gabriel waving at Charlie as they did, her jaw dropping at the smoothness of the plan.

Charlie had to admit defeat after _‘The_ _Great Jellybean Incident of ‘09’_ as it became known, and it took multiple sleepovers (and many hours of movies) to get rid of them all. 

 

Gabriel never did tell them how he got hold of so many.

 


	10. Stop with the Yoga and Hippie Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some bad things happen but tbh it's okay again at the end

Gabriel was the one who answered the phone. Sam and Dean were busy outside, washing Dean’s car and throwing soap bubbles at one another whilst he made biscuits. Sam had asked him if he’d wanted to help, even tried to tempt him out with the promise of a shirtless Sam leaning over the car bonnet covered in soap suds but Gabriel preferred being inside. As he was covered in flour, it dusted through his hair and down the front of his jeans, the phone rang. He picked it up, holding the receiver between his shoulder and his ear.

 “Singer-Winchester household how can I help?”

 “This is the home of a Bobby Singer yes?” a voice responded and Gabriel hummed in confirmation. “Is he available at the moment?” 

 “No sorry he’s out, can I pass a message one?” he picked up the tray of biscuits he’d been working out, poking them into better positions before, pulling the oven door open with his foot and shoving them in. 

 “Uh… yeah. It’s about a Mr John Winchester, Mr Singer is listed as next of kin on his medical forms. Mr Winchester was in a car accident last night.” Gabriel’s eyes widened and he stood up, looking out the window at the brothers who were currently sat on the bonnet of the car, smiles on their faces and a beer in hand. “He didn’t make it.” Gabriel cleared his throat, turning away from the window.

 “Right, okay. Thank- thank you for letting me know. Can I take down a number to give to Mr Singer when he comes back?” He nodded as the receptionist began to speak and he scribbled the number down on a pad of paper on the counter with a pen that only half worked. Once they’d checked it was the right number he put the phone back on the receiver, staring at it, head buzzing. John Winchester was dead. He headed outside, waving to the brothers. 

 “Sup knuckleheads, where’s - is that Taylor Swift?” he gave the radio they were listening to a filthy look. Dean rolled his eyes. 

 “Damn right. Shake It Off is great car-washing song.” Sam’s look pleaded Gabriel not to question it. 

 “Right. Whatever, where’s Bobby?” Dean looked at Sam, who shrugged. 

 “Dunno. Why? Everything alright?” Sam sat up a little and Gabriel waved him off. 

 “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” it was Dean’s turn to shrug now and Gabriel left the two of them with something muttered about the biscuits in the oven. He closed the door behind him and ran a hand through his hair again, dislodging flour and sending it fluttering to the floor. John WInchester was  _ dead  _ and Bobby was somewhere else that wasn’t here. Gabriel opened the fridge and stared blankly into it, letting the cold hit and wash over him as he struggled to think of something to  _ do.  _ He decided, rightly, that in all honestly there was nothing he  _ could  _ do. Not till Bobby came home.

**~*~**

Turns out Bobby had gone shopping and returned little over fifteen minutes later, arms full of carrier bags. Bobby was muttering under his breath about ‘fucking cashiers’ and ‘fucking sauve Englishmen, who do they think they are anyway?’ As he entered the kitchen he saw Gabriel, who’d given up staring into the fridge and was now making bread, knuckle deep in the dough. 

 “Y’alright?” Bobby asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge. Gabriel’s hands stilled and he stared into the dough in front of him before pulling his hands free, pushing the dough off. He shoved the bread into the oven, washing his hands before turning back to Bobby who was  waiting for his answer. He pushed the door to the front closed with a small  _ click  _ before looking over at the man all three of them call Dad. 

 “John Winchester’s dead.”

Bobby paused, beer bottle resting on his lower lip. His gaze held steady as he watched Gabriel. 

 “What?” he didn’t move, condensation slowly dribbling down the bottle, curving round the rim before dripping to the floor. 

 “A hospital called. Said he died in an uh - a car accident. They left a number.” He handed Bobby the note pad with the number on, and Bobby took it, looking at the neat pencilled numbers. 

 “John’s gone?” Gabriel moved to pat him on the arm, do  _ something,  _ but Bobby brought an arm up to stop him. “Finish - clear up the kitchen. When you’re done gimme a shout, I’ll go… go tell the boys then. Sam’ll want you. He and John, they weren’t close, but he was still the boy’s father.” Gabriel nodded, grabbing a cloth from the sink instantly and setting to work clearing up the spilled flour.

**~*~**

 The kitchen was slowly filling with the scent of baking bread and Gabriel took a deep breath in, appreciating the smell of his own cooking as he leant on the kitchen counter, eyes closed.   He only opened his eyes when he heard the door hinges creak, then the windows rattle in their frames as it was let swing closed by itself. Gabriel opened his eyes and saw Sam stood there; looking lost with drooping shoulders. Gabriel didn’t speak, he just stood up straight, holding out his right hand, a silent gesture to  _ come here. _

 Sam took his hand, and Gabriel pulled him in close, so he was touching Sam. Sam’s arm instantly found its way around Gabriel’s waist, hand on his lower back, pulling him in close so they were crushed together. He let go of Gabriel’s hand and tangled his fingers instead in Gabriel’s hair, pressing Gabriel’s face into his shoulder as Sam hid himself from the world in the solid rock that was Gabriel.  Gabriel could feel Sam’s breath ruffling his hair on every exhale, the breathing uneven and ragged, and all he could do was wrap his arms around Sam and pull him tighter, pull him closer.

 Sam couldn’t believe what he’d just been told. There was no way John was gone. It couldn’t be true. No, he hadn’t been the best Dad, but in the end, he had been  _ trying  _ at least. He’d only wanted what was best for them. That was all he’d ever wanted. Sam breathed in slowly, head swimming in the scent of Gabriel, the smell of candyfloss, lavender and something he could only describe as lightning by the way it made his nose tingle as he caught it. He let the softness of the scent calm him as his mind became a maelstrom, a battle of what he actually felt compared to what he believed he should feel.

 Because yes, Sam was devastated his father was dead. But part of him told him that if he was honest with himself, he knew this was coming. He knew that one day, they’d get this phone call. And he’d been prepared for it for so long. Knowing it was coming however hadn’t made the news any easier to hear, and the second Bobby had told them his whole body had ached for Gabriel, needed to be comforted by someone. His head was hurting from both the guilt and the absence of pain, the absence driving him insane as he fought himself to  _ care  _ even though he knew in his heart of hearts he  _ didn’t.  _ He sobbed into Gabriel’s hair, and all Gabriel could do was hold him closer, hands turning into fists in Sam’s shirt.

**~*~**

Dean was outside. Bobby had told them both the news, delicately as he could, but in the very Bobby-style of as little sugarcoating as possible. Sam had gotten up instantly as Bobby left heading to Gabriel, leaving Dean outside, alone. At first he’d stared straight ahead, staring into space.  _ Your dad was in a car accident and he didn’t make it.  _ Dean turned, launching the empty beer bottle he’d been holding out as far as he could, listening to it smash. The dark green glass teetered where it lay, the pieces curved and shining bright in the sunlight.

Dean stared into space as Bobby lay a hand on his shoulder. 

 “Breathe, Dean.” Dean wrenched his shoulder away, spinning round to glare at him. 

 “Breathe?  _ Breathe?  _ Dad’s fucking dead, and you’re giving some yoga meditation ‘just breathe’ bullshit talk?” Bobby gritted his teeth and took a step towards Dean, the young adult shrinking under the older man’s gaze. 

 “Bullshit talk huh? What about the fact you’re already smashing shit, and I know if I left you alone you’d beat something into a pulp. Facts is facts Dean, John’s _ gone  _ and there’s nothing you can do. Breaking shit might make you feel better, but in the long run what’s it gonna do huh?” Dean looked up Bobby before he sat down heavily on the bonnet on the car. “S’gonna do nothing kid. You gotta just take in a deep breath, so deep it burns your damn lungs, breathe out slowly, and carry on living.” Dean looked up at Bobby with glassy eyes and Bobby sighed, head tilting to the side as he wrapped one arm around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. “It’ll be okay kid.”

**~*~**

Gabriel let his hand slip into Sam’s as they stood in a semi-circle around the grave, Sam staring down into it, Gabriel looking up at the man giving a speech about how much of a great man John Winchester was. Gabriel wanted to go up there and shake him by the collar, asking him how much he  _ really  _ knew about the man, and why it was just some stranger giving the speech rather than Sam, Dean, or even better; Bobby. But no. There was just this jumped up asshole talking about him like he knew him like the back of his hand. But he didn’t.

Sam squeezed Gabriel’s hand softly as they walked away, head bowed, and Gabriel leant against Sam’s side. They’d be okay.  _ Sam  _ would be okay. He’d make sure of it.


	11. I Know You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EEYYYY revelations and shit

It was Christmas again. They were back with Dean and Bobby again, but this time it’s different. This Christmas they’ve been dating for a whole year, a year that Gabriel had come to call the first year of his life, because he didn’t think he could  _ enjoy  _ anything as much as he had done over the past year.

 “Hey, lovebirds!” Dean greeted them, giving them both a huge hug, patting them both on the back roughly, and Gabriel reciprocated the gesture, harder than Dean had done it. Dean grinned at him, impressed at the strength in his small body and he ruffled Gabriel’s hair - much to his disgust. 

 “How you doin’ Dean-o?” Gabriel hitched up one of the suitcases as Sam grabbed the other, slightly heavier one. 

 “Not bad, just been preparing for you two to come round, clearing Sammy’s room out and stuff.” he let them into the house. “Bobby! They’re here!” a response of ‘I KNOW, YOU IDJIT’ echoed down the stairs and Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

  It was good to be _home_.

**~*~**

The next morning Gabriel woke up earlier than usual. They’d left the window open last night and the room was illuminated in a dull blue glow from the way the early morning sun was drifting into the room. He stood up, shivering slightly, wrapping a blanket around himself as he headed to the window to close it and noticed that outside was covered in a thick blanket of snow that glittered despite the light not being strong. Someone was awake downstairs, because he could smell fresh coffee, and the scent off the coffee mingled with the crisp and cold scent of the snow, making him feel warm despite the literal chill in the air.

 He closed the window, turning back to go back to bed and he smiled at the sight of Sam with the covers twisted around his waist, one hand under his pillow, the other tucked under his cheek and his face half buried in the pillow he was holding closer to his face. Gabriel snuck back into bed and draped his blanket half over him and half over Sam, pressing himself against his boyfriend’s back, nuzzling in between his shoulder blades, arm over Sam’s waist, fingers brushing his stomach.

 Slowly he began to trace letters against Sam’s skin, sure he was asleep.

  1. _L. O. V. E. Y. O. U._



 When he was done writing those 8 letters he rolled over, curling himself up a little and stifling a small yawn with the intent of going back to sleep. After a few minutes of comfortable quiet in the room, the only sounds being Sam’s sleepy breaths and the rustling of the covers as Sam rolled over to tug Gabriel into his arms, burying his face in the golden curls. He moved again, nosing behind Gabriel’s ear, making him squirm as Sam’s breath tickled. 

 “Nggh…” Gabriel mumbled as Sam did, Sam’s hand pressing onto his chest, directly over his chest.

 “I love you too.” Sam whispered, and Gabriel wasn’t so sleepy anymore. He sat up and looked down at Sam who had a sleepy smile on his face, watching Gabriel. 

 “You what?” the stammer in his voice had nothing to do with the -5 temperature outside. 

 “I said…” Sam sat up slowly, looking down slightly at Gabriel, tilting his head up to brush a kiss against his lips. “That I love you too. I felt you write it and - and I wanted you to know I feel the same way. That I have done for months but I’ve not known how to say it.” He took Gabriel’s hands in his own and started playing with his fingers, lacing them together then not, drawing his index finger across the lines of his palm like he was reading Gabriel’s palm. Gabriel wanted to say it  _ back,  _ he wanted to look Sam in the eyes and tell him he loved him but something was stopping him, holding him back. Sam took a firmer grip of his hand, giving it a little squeeze. “You don’t need to say it back Gabe,” Gabriel cursed Sam’s ability to read his goddamn mind. 

 “But…”

 “You don’t need to say it back because I know you do. I know you do because of the way you look at me, the way you bring me tea in the mornings without me asking you, the way you cuddle up to me when you’re asleep, the way you smile when someone mentions my name… you don’t need to tell me you love me for me to know. You just need to keep showing me.” Gabriel didn't know what to say to that. He wanted to tell Sam he loved him because it was  _ true  _ but he couldn't make the words come out. He'd told his family he loved them and never got an “I love you too” in return, making hearing one now a shock to the system, something he hadn't been expecting and something he didn't know how to react too. He bit the tip of his tongue, closing his eyes and breathing in slowly before reopening his eyes.

 “I love you Sam, I really do.” his heart pounded in his chest, fists clenched, waiting for the shutdown. But it didn’t come. Instead, Sam kissed him, but this kiss felt different to so many others they’d shared. 


	12. And To What Do Two Hungover Students Owe the Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gabriels hungover and sam arrives with some N E W S

Gabriel was asleep. This was not an uncommon occurrence, especially not at eight in the morning on a day when he didn’t have classes. He also, had a hangover, again, another common occurrence on days when he didn’t have classes. Face pressed into his pillow he let out a low rumbling groan, rolling to the left to lay on his back. Hungover Gabriel had, much to his own misfortune, miscalculated how much bed he had left. The resounding yelp of pain that left his mouth was enough to wake Garth on the other side of the room.

 “G’briel?” Garth slurred, dragging a hand down his face as he tried to wake up because someone was injured in their bedroom. 

 “Down ‘ere.” Gabriel sat up, one hand pressed on the small of his back, the other reaching up to find the edge of his mattress and grab on, holding himself up. “Oh god, Garthy, the world’s ‘avin’ a fuckin’ party over here.” He stared ahead blankly as their whole room swayed, not noticing that  _ he  _ was the one that was moving to and fro slowly. Mr Fizzles made a quiet  _ mrrrrp  _ noise from by Garth’s feet and the significantly less hungover student reached down to give the cat a scratch behind the ears. Garth picked up his water bottle and rolled it across the floor to Gabriel, amused by the amount of effort it took him to unscrew the lid and swallow a few mouthfuls. “Now it’s havin’ less of a party.” Garth just grunted in acknowledgement, falling back into a laying position, Mr Fizzles padding up to curl up on his stomach. Hand in the grey fur, Garth stared up at the ceiling.

 “How much did you even  _ drink  _ last night?” That question earnt him a noncommittal grunt that he took to mean  _ who the fuck knows  _ and he snorted in laughter. “That much huh?” he heard another thump and he looked over, seeing Gabriel finally standing, the door to their bathroom open as he washed his face, forehead pressed to the mirror, the cold water tap running. 

 “Wow. Woah. Okay. Earth to Gabe.” he grumbled before looking at his wrecked expression, fingers pressing into the purple shadows under his eyes, one of which seemed to extend down onto his cheek- “Ow. Fuck. That’s a bruise.” he squinted at himself before sweeping one damp hand through his hair and leaving the bathroom, feeling distinctly more awake now even though his head was sore. Coffee. He needed coffee, a good breakfast, and someone to take away his debit card. As he flipped the kettle on, wincing at the loud rattling noise the appliance made in response he glanced over at the calendar they had pinned to the wall. Today’s date, May 15th, was circled. Now, if only he could remember why. As he stared at the neat Sharpie circle, trying to remember if he’d been the one to add that ring around the number, the door opened with a bang, causing Gabriel to make a pained noise, hands flashing up to hold his head. 

 “What the fu-?” Garth sat back up sharply, Mr Fizzles leaping off his chest and skittering off to hide under Gabriel’s bed amongst the odd socks and balled up pieces of paper. Sam stood framed by the doorway, hair messy and chest heaving as if he’d run from his own dormitory to theirs. A piece of paper was clenched in his right hand and as Gabriel took in the sight of his boyfriend  _ there  _ he realised Sam was still in his pyjamas. Sam  _ had  _ run from his dorm to theirs.

 “Ah, Sambo, and to what do we, the two most hungover students this side of the fucking  _ Atlantic,  _ owe the honour of such a dramatic entrance?” Sam crossed to Gabriel in three strides, shutting the door with the hand holding the paper as he did before he grabbed his boyfriend by the jaw and captured his lips in a deep, slow kiss that made Gabriel go weak at the knees. Garth made a retching noise and rolled over, dragging his blankets up over his head to escape from the public display of affection. As Sam broke back from Gabriel, the shorter staggered slightly, grabbing onto Sam’s biceps. “Okay, now, not that I am in any way complaining about what just happened, to what do I owe  _ that  _ honour?” Sam waved the letter a little and Gabriel took it, eyes scanning the paper. 8am wasn’t prime reading time but he picked up on the words _ thank you for your application  _ and  _ acceptance.  _ His eyes drifted from the body of the letter to the coat of arms in the top right corner of the page, right underneath the word ‘Folbey and Carter’. He looked up at Sam, then back down at the partially crumpled letter in his hands. 

 “You sent in my application.” Garth emerged from the blankets as Sam spoke, now a lot more interested in the conversation than he had been when it was just tongue in throat communication. 

 “I- well, you weren’t going to, and you said that Folbey was one of your dream places to work. So I sent it in.” He held onto the letter with both hands, looking up at Sam as his boyfriend’s face softened, leaning down to press their foreheads together. 

 “I can’t thank you enough Gabriel, I really can’t.” Gabriel let the letter fall then and land between them on the floor as he hugged Sam tightly, much like he had done after the argument that’d ensued about the application a month ago.

**~*~**

_  “There’s no way I can apply for this Gabriel, they’re not gonna accept someone like me.” Sam grumbled as his pen scratched the page, filling in his personal details on the application form for a position at Folbey and Carter.  _

_  “Sam, you go to Stanford. You’re smart, you’re calm, hell you even look like a lawyer when you stick on a suit, why wouldn’t they accept you?” Gabriel was laying on Sam’s bed, flipping pages of a script he didn’t really want to read. Not that he didn’t like Blood Brothers - but he really wasn’t feeling like practising the stupid British accent.  _

_  “Maybe because there’s more than just looking the part? Just because that’s all you need to do to get a part in a play somewhere doesn’t mean that’s all I need either.” The snap from Sam was uncalled for, and he stopped writing as he heard the sound of turning pages cease behind him. Uh oh. _

_  “I’m sorry, but… what did you just say to me? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in every single year that I have studied drama. And you’re telling me it’s all about looking the part?” Gabriel put the script down, eyebrow twitching up towards his hairline in bemusement. Sam put his pen down carefully, turning on his chair to face his boyfriend, mouth opening, then closing uselessly. He didn’t have any words to say back to that other than ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m just tired and stressed about this application’ but he knew they weren’t good enough words. He knew what he’d said was out of line and a simple sorry wasn’t good enough. _

_  “I’m sorry Gabe.” He said it anyway, because it needed to be said whether it was good enough or not.  _

_  “Yeah, damn right you’re fucking sorry.” Gabriel fixed Sam with a glare as he picked up the battered script, waving it at him. “You’ve seen me, learning my lines for this fucking piece. Hours on hours of running lines and putting on a shitty accent, practising the shitty accent, being on stage under lights that are so hot I sweat like a goddamn pig under them and then I come back here to hang out with you to destress and you tell me that all I need to get a part is look right? I can apply for 500 parts in productions and get none because I might look the part but they need someone who can do ballet, or play the trumpet, or someone who can have raw rough sex on the damn stage. Hell half the time I don’t look the part because they want chiselled jaw lines and six packs and biceps that flex and shine with sweat in the right light and that’s not me. I’m lucky to get parts in plays through the way I look. I get them through the way I act and convey emotion, the way I’m fucking fearless when they tell me they want me on a rope as Puck so I can throw myself around and at Oberon. I get parts because of when I was Mephistopheles and I flipped from being a demon bro to being the sinister motherfucker, and because of when I was Faustus - yeah sue me I did the same play twice - and the way I did the incantations and the soliloquies. So don’t-” he threw the script onto the floor, voice shaking, “tell me I get parts because I look right. I work. And I work hard for the parts I get.” The harsh glare he was giving Sam faded as he finished the tirade and Sam stood up, leaving the desk to come over to Gabriel and kneel in front of him, brushing a hand through his hair as he saw tears in Gabriel’s eyes. _

_  “I am sorry. I didn’t mean it Gabe, I really didn’t, I know you work hard for parts.” He noticed the way Gabriel’s lip became caught under his teeth, and the way he wouldn’t look Sam in the eye when he remembered.  _

_  “Oh shit, you had that audition last week didn’t you.” Gabriel sniffed and just leant his head forward, pushing Sam’s fingers through his hair a little more and Sam inwardly smacked himself. “Fuck, hey, c’mere angel.” he pulled Gabriel off the bed, onto his lap on the floor, tucking his boyfriend against him as he realised why Gabriel was so much more upset about it than usual.  _

_  “I tried Sam. Fuck, I tried to hard for that damn part. You know I hate Shakespeare. Stupid poncy British twat with his wherefore art thou’s and his but soft through what yonder window fucking breaks or whatever the damn quote is.” Gabriel grumbled against Sam’s chest, letting Sam hold him close as he did. “‘pparently ‘m not a convincing enough Romeo. Not my fucking fault that I can’t fake profess my love to some dumb girl who knew Romeo for like 5 minutes before she decided she wanted to jump his bones.” They both laughed at that and Gabriel ducked his head slightly to nuzzle under Sam’s chin, pressing himself close.  _

_  “Shakespeare is pretty fucking dumb.” Sam agreed and he kissed the top of Gabriel’s head. “I’m not gonna apply for the position.” _

_  “What?” Gabriel leant back, looking up at Sam. “Why?” _

_  “Because it’ll over stress me, and I’ll snap at you more. And I don’t want to snap at you more. It makes me feel like shit, it makes you feel like shit, it’s bad for us both.” he stroked Gabriel’s hair slowly, who couldn’t bring himself to argue. If that was what Sam wanted, then that was what Sam wanted. And he couldn’t tell Sam otherwise. _

_ They sat curled up on the floor for a little while longer, talking about graduation and lives beyond that that small dorm room before Sam’s phone beeped, an alarm to remind him of his upcoming lecture. Sam stood up, gathering his laptop bag and leaving, giving Gabriel a quick kiss beforehand. Once he left, Gabriel picked up the half filled in application, reading over the empty fields. He sat down, picked up the discarded pen, and began to write. _

**~*~**

 “I just… I didn’t want you to throw it away because of me.” He looked up at Sam, thanking everything and it’s fucking mother that Sam hadn’t been annoyed that he’d submitted the application anyway. 

 “I can’t - can’t believe I’m gonna be working for…” 

 “Let me get dressed, and we’ll go believe it together in the coffee shop yeah?”


	13. Layin' the Smackdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gabriel lays a fucking smackdown

 “Gabriel, you gotta get up.”

 “No I don’t.”

 “Gabriel, you really need to get up.”

 “No, fuck  _ off  _ I don’t need to get up.” 

 “Miss graduation then, see if I ca-” At the word  _ graduation  _ Gabriel sat bolt upright, inches away from headbutting Garth in the face as he leant over him. 

 “Graduation?” He looked around the room, noticing how Garth was fully dressed and he was really  _ not.  _ “Oh- oh  _ fuck. _ ” He threw himself out of his bed, reaching for a pair of jeans. “Shit, oh fucking shit, don’t leave without me Garth please.” he begged as he tried to get the jeans on without falling over, a task he wasn’t sure he could complete at this rate. Garth stepped back out of the line of Hurricane Gabriel, who threw himself at dresser, tugging at a particularly stubborn t-shirt that was wedged firmly the back. He finally got it free, pulling the black fabric over his head and catching the hairbrush that was being thrown to him. “Lifesaver Garth, I ever told ya that?” Garth nodded and made a sound that seemed to mean ‘yeah yeah heard it before’ as he kept sidestepping Gabriel. When he was finally ready he looked up at Garth with a bright smile on his face. 

 “Ready?” Garth sighed, straightening Gabriel’s jacket on his shoulders and rubbing the toothpaste from his cheek. 

 “Ready as ever Garthmeister.”

About five minutes in Gabriel decided he would much rather be in bed than there. Nothing much was happening, there was a lot of names being called and a spattering of half-hearted claps, that was until someone popular went up. In that fact the crowd began a ball of cheer and smiling. As they made their way through the alphabet nearing the letter N Gabriel noticed a few familiar faces in the crowd. Dean and Bobby were there. Sure, they were there more for Sam than him, but they were people he knew, people who supported him, and that was good enough for him. 

 “Novak, Gabriel.” He breathed in deep before starting up the few stairs onto the stage. He could do this, he was a drama student for Christ’s sake. There he was, the man himself, stood at the edge of the stage ready to receive his -

In that second, Gabriel Novak made a mistake. He looked out to the crowd before he shook hands and collected the certificate. He looked out at the crowd of people who were there to watch their family member collect a piece of paper to show that the last three to four years of their life had been productive and would get them somewhere else in life and he saw them. He saw  _ his  _ family.

And not the adopted kind.

The blue and green eyes of his two older brothers bore into him like nails and he felt his heart leap into his throat, choking him.  _ Get thing get off get thing get off  _ he told himself, deciding now was a great time time to use the last few years as a way to get out of this situation. He held out his hand which wasn’t shaking much to his delight and he shook the Dean’s hand, his bright but ‘get me the fuck outta here’ smile plastering his face. Once his hand was released he walked as calmly as he could off the stage and out of sight when he ran. He ran so fast it hurt himself, away from the people and into a alleyway. He pressed his back to the wall, breathing in around the balloon in his chest, trying to get enough oxygen into his brain to  _ think.  _ How could he go join Dean and Bobby in the crowd with Lucifer and Michael in it? They’d find him in the crowd at the end, they’d start something like always. His vision swum and he braced himself with one hand on the wall, refusing to fall as he concentrated on breathing.

7 in.

11 out.

7 in.

11 out.

Over and over he repeated the mantra, determined this wouldn’t be how he would go down, he couldn’t let them  _ win.  _

 “Wicker, Ron.” Shit,  _ shit  _ they were in the W’s and at WI already. He needed to get back there, because Sam. He needed to be there for Sam when he collected his award. He needed to. There was nothing else about it, nothing should be stopping him from being there for Sam. So he took in another deep breath, one so deep it made his chest hurt with the sheer size of it, and he left the alleyway. He walked head held high to the back of the crowd, weaving in and out of people to get to where Bobby and Dean were sat. 

 “Hey Gabe, where’d you run off too?” Dean asked him quietly, clapping him on the shoulder as he stood beside the oldest Winchester. 

 “Had a personal thing.” He replied, listening as the name  _ Winchester, Sam  _ was called and he waved at Sam as his boyfriend walked onto the stage, all bright smiles and firm handshakes. He kept his eyeline above the crowd, away from the dirty blond and the raven hair of his two brothers. He  _ had  _ this.

As Sam came bounding over after the awards, Gabriel noticed his brothers following him over. Bad, no, stop that, that wasn’t good. He ducked slightly behind Dean as the older Winchester 

was the one nearest to him and Dean looked up, wondering what the hell was going on. 

 “Gabe? Everything okay there?” Dean asked, looking back at the Novak who was stood behind him, 

 “Everything’s fucking peachy Winchester, except for the fact my two big brothers are sauntering over to me whilst following Sam and I don’t know how to tell them to fuck right off.” He muttered, Dean’s arm snaking around Gabriel’s shoulders.

 “Okay, you just breathe okay Gabe? We got this. If comes to it, me and Sammy’ll protect you.” Dean said - looking up at Sam who was now there with them, swinging an arm around Dean and hugging him tightly. “Congrats bro!” Dean thumped Sam on the back, Lucifer and Michael standing side by side a short distance away. 

 “I believe we can say the same there to you Gabriel.” Michael’s voice was level and cool, but that was his threatening voice. Gabriel swallowed before standing up a little straighter, chin rising. He was Gabriel Steven  _ fucking _ Novak. He could do this. 

 “You  _ could. _ But I don’t know if you should. And I don’t even know how you got here.” He responded with the same level tone, making eye contact with Michael. “Because you  _ certainly _ weren’t invited.” 

Lucifer’s hand found it’s way to the front of his shirt and he dragged Gabriel closer, a warning smile on his face. 

 “Brother, come with us for a private chat? It’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other.” He whispered in a way that Gabriel knew that it  _ wasn’t  _ a request.

 “What do you  _ want _ ?” Gabriel snapped once he’d let the older Novak’s move him across the courtyard to where no people were. 

 “Came to congratulate you on-”

 “No, you didn’t. You don’t give a shit about me. You never fucking did. That’s why you called me selfish for wanting to come to college, called me selfish for wanting to study drama instead of business management or something.” He bit his lip once he finished speaking, the relief of finally standing up to them both. 

 “We called you  _ selfish  _ because we needed you to join the company, Castiel was already refusing point blank to and if you didn’t-”

 “You don’t understand though, I didn’t, and don’t want to work in business. I hate the whole aspect of it. I have worked  _ so  _ damn hard to get to where I am today, and that’s something I should be  _ proud  _ of Michael!” He rounded on the older brother first, before his whole body turned to face Lucifer. “And  _ you. _ Do not try and  _ guilt  _ me into feeling bad for the fact I am taking some time out of  _ my  _ life to do what  _ I  _ want in  _ my _ -”

The slap really shouldn’t have come as a surprise to him. It really shouldn’t have done. The sharpness of the slap did jolt him, hand coming up instantly to hold his stinging cheek. 

 “Do not speak to me like that. Listen here you selfish little-”

 “Is there a problem here?” Sam’s voice was a song to Gabriel’s ears and he stepped backwards a little, finding the Winchester exactly where he’d thought he’d be. Even when Gabriel was stressed and Sam was being protective, they still had some slayin’ synergy. Lucifer looked up at Sam with a cocked eyebrow, as if he was challenging Sam to a duel. 

 “Nope. I don’t think there is to be honest.” Lucifer’s smirk was growing wider by the second and Gabriel didn’t like it. 

 “I think there  _ is  _ though.” Sam’s hand rested on Gabriel’s hip, a comforting weight that made the youngest of the Novak’s stand up a little straighter, confidence growing again. “And I think this because I know I just saw you hit my boyfriend.”

 “Boyfriend?” Michael spat, looking from Sam to Gabriel. 

 “Yeah. Boyfriend. You got an issue with that Michael? I happen to remember hearing a whole bunch of stories about your time in college and the amount of things, sorry,  _ people  _ you got up to doing.” Lucifer snorted as Gabriel laid the smackdown. Sam bent down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of Gabriel’s head to soothe him and Gabriel stood up even straighter as he did, because with Sam behind him he could do anything. “You know what? I didn’t invite you today because you don’t deserve to be here. I have nightmares still about you two arguing, about the two of you shouting at one another until the late hours of the morning. About Cas having to come into my room and sleep with me because he was scared of his two brothers just like I was. That’s why I fucking upped and left. Sure, it was selfish of me. But you know what? I don’t care. It was selfish but in the end? It was better for me. And that’s what matters here. That  _ I’m  _ happy in  _ my  _ life.” He snapped, hands curled into fists by his side, watching the expression on his brother’s faces change. 

Michael had no words for him, he just turned around and walked away in disgust. Gabriel watched him leave with a ghost of a smile on his face because he’d  _ won.  _ Lucifer however didn’t walk away. He stood there, arms folded, looking down at Gabriel. 

 “Good job. On the whole degree thing. Did well little brother.” He turned on his heel and walked away then, hands tucking in his pockets as he did, a nonchalant air about him. Gabriel squinted after him. Wait - he’d won that easily? Sam’s hand tightened a fraction on his hip and he looked up, making a muffled sound of surprise as Sam bent down and kissed him. 

 “Proud of you.” Sam whispered, kissing his nose and Gabriel laughed. 

 “C’mon, let’s go celebrate us getting our degrees. I’ll tell you more about Luci and Mikey then.”

So Gabriel did explain over a cup of hot chocolate, the whole thing about Lucifer and Michael demanding he do one thing, and him not wanting to, him wanting to lead his own life and have no regrets about not doing it the way he wanted, and how they'd called him selfish for that. How his choice about wanting to live his life his way lead to his alienation and isolation by his older brothers, was often the topic of  _their_ arguments, and were the root of his nightmares.


	14. And Where The Fuck Were You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gabriel has a very important question for sam

Gabriel pushed his key into the lock and gave it a twist, shoulder coming forward to knock on the wood and force the door open. That was, in his opinion, the only downside the apartment he and Sam lived in. It was cheap, it was perfectly placed for Sam to get to work easily, and still close enough to the theatre district Gabriel didn’t need to shell out hundreds whenever he needed to get there; job or interview. 

 That was incidentally where he was coming from then, shrugging off his thin hoodie and draping it over the back of the kitchen chair. He was playing Puck in the new production of A Midsummer’s Night Dream and  _ fuck  _ it was a tiring thing. Leaping about the place, clambering up the set, being told not to climb up  _ that  _ bit of set by the techies, sitting at the bottom of  _ that  _ bit of set waiting for them to make sure it was stable and safe enough to be climbed… and that doesn’t even include all the line running with the Oberon. The exhausting part of the whole production was of course the live shows. No more missing a line and having it fed to you or getting your foot caught in the set and having a laugh over it. Not that he minded too much, he enjoyed being on the stage. He kicked his shoes off and flicked the kettle on. There was one tiny - no, major issues with today’s performance. 

 Sam hadn’t been there. Gabriel knew today was Sam’s day off as well, hence why Sam had bought the tickets, but he hadn’t shown up. Gabriel wasn’t sure whether he should be upset, angry, worried, or all three. 

 “Sam?” he called, voice echoing in the empty apartment. So he wasn’t home sick. Just to check, Gabriel entered their shared bedroom and found the bed made thanks to Sam. He pulled his phone out and gave Sam a call, only to have it ring out. Not in the house, not answering his phone. Now it really want a decision between anger or fear on Gabriel’s part. Angry he hadn’t shown up, wasn’t answering his phone, and hadn’t texted Gabriel to tell him he wouldn’t be coming, or scared for the same reasons. He made himself a coffee, thoughts still whirring around his head as he tried to think of a reason why Sam would have not come, not been at home,  _ and  _ not answered his phone.

 As Gabriel sat down on the wonky sofa in their living room he knew there were many logical answers on why Sam wasn’t answering, but he couldn’t bring himself to bring one down solidly. He set his coffee mug on the table, switched on the TV, and drifted off to sleep curled up under a blanket with the sounds of Jeremy Kyle in the background. 

**~*~**

 Sam came home an hour later, hair messy and a dopey grin on his face. He snuck into the house, hoping Gabriel wasn’t back from the theatre so he could get into bed and act like he’d been sick all day to give him an excuse for not being at the show. He realised as he saw Gabriel’s hoodie over the back of the chair that he was  _ home.  _ And Sam was  _ screwed.  _ With the TV on and the half empty mug on the table he didn’t even need to look over the back of the sofa to know that was where Gabriel was asleep and he knew a fight was coming as he reached over, gently shaking him awake. Gabriel woke up slowly, looking around blearily before noticing Sam and he stood up, eyes that had just been glassed over with sleep now alight and furious.

 “And where the  _ fuck  _ were you?” He snapped, blanket hanging off one shoulder. A man half covered in blanket should not be able to evoke that much fear in Sam’s heart. He breathed in deeply, ready to explain.

 “Gabe, listen, sit down,  _ please,  _ and I’ll explain. I swear it’s not what you think-” He realised than he’d made a really big mistake with wording, cursing himself. The look on Gabriel’s face clearly said ‘I’m not sitting.’ and he sighed, coming around the sofa, to wrap an arm around his still blanket clad boyfriend, pulling him to his chest and brushing his hair from his eyes. “Okay, I messed the wording up and I’m sorry, but I  _ swear  _ I have a  _ good _ reas-”

 “Sam?” Sam didn’t like that tone. “Why do you smell like perfume?”  _ Oh fuck. _

 “Okay - look, Gabriel? Baby? Look at me? I swear I can explain this.” Gabriel’s look was a challenge and he stepped away from both Sam’s hand and the blanket. 

 “You have ten seconds to start explaining, or you’re getting the  _ fuck  _ out of the apartment.” Gabriel’s sneer made Sam shrink and he held his hands up in defense. 

 “Okay okay so… I wasn’t at the showing. I know I wasn’t, I literally was dressed, like this, tickets in my pocket-” He reached into his trouser pocket to bring out the folded paper as proof. “to leave then and there. But then I got a phone call, yes, from a woman, hence the perfume. But it’s  _ not  _ an affair.” Gabriel was tapping his foot now and Sam stumbled over his words as he got the story out as quickly as possible. “And you - you mentioned adoption the other week. We were half asleep watching the TV and you mentioned - you mentioned wanting children, and I don’t even know if you know I was listening but I was, so I looked into it, the whole adoption thing. The woman I was seeing today? She’s - she works for an agency. She wanted you to come too but I explained about the performance and she said fine she could see just me but it’s the only appointment she had for  _ months  _ and I just-”   
 “You went to see a lady about an adoption?” Gabriel couldn’t believe his ears. Not because he thought Sam was lying, no, he trusted Sam to be telling the truth. It was the whole  _ him possibly becoming a father thing  _ that he was stuck on. “You mean…”

 “I mean in a few days she’s gonna give us a call. Nothing will happen for another 2 months minimum because I need to finish my training at Folbey’s, but once that’s done? Then we’re on the home stretch from what I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m so sorry, I didn’t  _ know  _ until today and-”

 “Shut up Winchester you’re digging yourself back into the hole you just fucking climbed out of.” Gabriel grabbed Sam by the shirt, dragging him down close enough they could kiss despite the slight anger still etched on Gabriel’s usually soft features. “We’re gonna be parents within the year?”

 Sam nodded. 

That time they did kiss. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Get Your Head in the Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sam questions everything he know about pirates and musicals

Sam opened the door of the main stage slowly, looking in.

 “Gabriel?” he called, stepping out and looking up onto the stage, not seeing his boyfriend. It was a Tuesday, the day he always came to pick Gabriel up from work, and Gabriel would always be waiting for him sat on the stage, swinging his legs, ankles crossed. Not this time though

 This time the stage was empty, except for a few actors milling about wearing pirate costumes. There were a few in the seats as well, just talking amicably with one another, feet up on the backs of chairs, arms behind their heads. Sam eyed the pirate costumes, wondering what kind of play could have so many pirates in. Unless they were doing Pirates of Penzance. He was about to ask someone when he stopped an actress sitting to the side on her own, tuning a violin.  _ Okay, it must be Pirates of Penzance, _ he thought,  _ because that’s the only pirate musical I think even exists.  _ He made a mental note to ask Gabriel right as the actress made eye contact with him and she picked up her bow.

 Sam’s eyes went wide as the first few notes of He’s a Pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean played. That… hadn’t been want he was expecting. She played it perfectly, and after a few notes Sam heard another violin join him, causing him to spin round to look. A few more notes and a third, then a cello from the back of the hall that he hadn’t even noticed.

 The song continued playing, a pianist from the corner of the room joining, and even a drummer. A grin spread across Sam’s face, a glimmer of tears from pure happiness in his eyes. He guessed Gabriel must have been behind the spontaneous flash mob, only he knew how much the film in general meant to him. 

**~*~**

 It took him back, back to before their relationship started, to the rainy evening they’d watched Pirates of the Caribbean together, eating popcorn and laughing. It took him back to the pretend sword fight they’d had with Gabriel showing off some very artsy moves that made Sam question Gabriel’s “lack” of gymnastic training. It took him back to the way Gabriel had stood on the arm of the sofa and flourished a bow in Sam’s direction, hair falling into his face before looking up at him, eyes shining with what Sam now recognised as adoration. All he’d done at that moment was bite his lip and look away but if that happened now he’d cup Gabriel’s face in his hands and kiss him gently, a smile on his face.

He was distracted from his thoughts by the dancers who were now on stage, also dressed as pirates, twirling around one another and bowing, each move firm and precise. He watched them and his smile only got wider, hand reaching out slightly to the side to grab onto Gabriel’s, to squeeze his hand, to make sure this moment was  _ real  _ when he realised Gabriel still wasn’t there. He wasn’t playing an instrument, and he wasn’t dancing. He frowned slightly, wondering where he was when he saw someone very definitely dressed as Will Turner walk onto the stage and the music dropped in volume, a slow rumble from the violins. He walked the Will look at him, smile, before raising his sword to the rafters and a voice call down. A voice that he couldn’t see the owner of, but a voice he would recognise any day.

 “And now, you will all remember this as the day you ALMOST caught  _ Captain  _ Jack Sparrow.” the emphasis on the word Captain made Sam laugh before he saw a figure clinging to a rope swing across the stage, a sword on one hand. He felt the urge to run forward and catch Gabriel as he let go of the rope but he didn’t, settling for watching him land with bent knees and straighten up, sword twirling and darting towards the Will. The music bubbled up again around them as the fight scene ensued, each step, every small jump, every duck and bob perfectly choreographed, so much so that Sam guessed Gabriel must have done it, because nothing felt accidental.

Gabriel’s foot moved, heel cocking to the left as he moved, hand palm up as he flicked the tip of the sword up to tap Will’s chin, head tipped back with a wide smile on his face as he ducked into a neat twirl, other leg coming out to balance himself as he stood again, hair in his eyes but he didn’t care. He let the music carry him through the routine he’d spent hours devising and practising. Finally the music began to fade and he “won” the sword fight, knocking it from Will’s hand and watching it soar in a graceful arch towards him where he caught it with his free hand. As the music stopped, Sam began to clap and he turned towards Sam, bowing lowly, swords held to the side before he looked up, and gave Sam the exact look he’d been remembering mere minutes ago.

 “Sam, I have to tell you, there truly aren’t many people in the world that I’d choreograph an entire fight scene for, plus go to the lengths of hiring musicians because I didn’t have enough. Now, there is of course a very good reason behind why I went to such lengths for this. No, the reason isn’t because I thought it would be cool, although it was cool as fuck. The reason is, uh… can you come up on stage for a sec?” Sam squinted at Gabriel but walked up the steps at the front of the stage anyway to come to stand in front of his boyfriend. “The reason that I went to this kind of length, that I did all of this-” he waved a sword in the direction of the musicians and dancers who were now all standing on the floor in front of the seats watching them both. A spotlight hit them and Sam looked up, regretting it instantly, before looking down again, Gabriel now on his knees.

Correction.

On  _ one  _ knee.

Gabriel reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box, and Sam lost all train of thought, nearly losing the feeling in his legs as he saw it, because he knew what was in that box. He knew exactly what words were about to come out of Gabriel’s mouth.

 “See, I’ve - I’ve liked you for a while. Okay that’s an understatement, I know, I’ve been in love with you for fucking years, and there was no way I could do this in anyway less than this because you deserve big, you deserve flamboyant, you deserve so much more than what I, or possibly anyone could give you but I’m making it my mission to singlehandedly show you exactly how much you’re fucking worth. How much you shine Sam. And I wanna ask you a question, something that’s got a simple answer to it, though god I hope you give me the answer I’m hoping you give…” he opened the box, a scrap of paper sitting on the cushion. Sam blinked, squinting to read the paper.

_ What team? _

A question, something with a simple answer, that Sam could only give one answer too. He stared down at Gabriel before sinking to his knees, cupping the other man’s face and kissing him so softly that it made his heart ache.  _ He remembered.  _

**~*~**

They had been drunk. Ciders in hand they’d clinked bottles before their lips met in a messy kiss that was punctuated by Gabriel giggling, and Sam turning away to belch. 

 “Say, Sammykins…” Gabriel started, turning to slot himself between Sam’s legs, pointing his bottle up at the ceiling of their bedroom at the glow in the dark stars stuck the ceiling. “What d’ya say to a bet huh?” he laid his head back on Sam’s shoulder, taking another swig of the sickly sweet smelling alcohol he’d grown to love. Sam hummed, pressing his cheek against Gabriel’s, staring up at the ceiling too as if they were sat outside, stargazing properly. 

 “Wha’s the bet?” he mumbled, wiping a bead of cider from the corner of Gabriel’s lip with his thumb.

 “If righ’... okay… hear me ou’.” Sam’s eyebrows twitched upwards but he said nothing, letting his very drunk boyfriend attempt to make his thoughts come out in intelligible words. “‘f I wanna propose t’ you righ’? I got’a as’ you… wha’ team. And you gottsa be like WILD CATS and it’ll be grea’... no… one better than grea’... gruh- _ nine. _ ” he beamed at himself for a second before shaking his head a little. “An’ if  _ you  _ are the firs’ to propose… you gotta… uh… you gotta as’ me righ’... oh I know, you gotta as’ me wha’ the fox says, aight?” Sam hummed an agreement, peppering kisses over Gabriel’s ear, cheek and neck, eyes fluttering closed as he drunk in the smell and feeling of  _ Gabriel  _ around him, putting his empty cider down and wrapping both arms around Gabriel’s waist. 

 “I will do as ever my angel wants, b’cause he is my angel and I lov’ him.” Gabriel laughed, batting at Sam’s face and rolling his eyes, calling him a sap, not that Sam cared.

As Sam pulled back from the kiss he could see Gabriel’s eyes were watering and unsure, as if he was waiting confirmation from Sam that, yes, he wanted this too. 

 “Wildcats.” he whispered, the tip of his nose brushing the tip of Gabriel’s and their exhales blended as they both began to laugh, the sheer delight of the situation finally hitting them. “Fucking, yes Gabriel, yes, ye-” he was cut off by Gabriel kissing him, long and hard before pulling back again, pressing their foreheads together. 

 “I remembered.”


	16. Lead Me Down the Right Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nice things happen

Sam got the job. He was a fully employed member of Folbey and Carter, and he celebrated his first day by bringing a bottle of (albeit cheap) red wine and flowers home from Gabriel. A man could never buy his fiancé too many flowers. When he got home though Gabriel wasn’t curled up napping on the sofa like he usually was, no he was pacing around the coffee table with a phone glued to his ear.

 “Yeah? Yeah huh? Alright. Yeah okay. That sounds amazing. Sure, sure thank you so much. Have a good day now.” He hung up, looking over at Sam with wide and bright eyes, phone clutched to his chest. 

 “Gabriel? Who was that on the phone?” He asked, hope clinging to every syllable. 

 “It was Marissa, from the agency… we’re getting a little girl Sam, we’re getting a little girl.” Neither of them minded the fact the cheap wine ended up smashed on the floor, the sharp peppery smell permeating the small apartment. Neither cared at the bouquet ended up discarded on the kitchen table as Sam swept Gabriel into his arms, because the shorter man couldn’t stop whispering  _ we’re getting a little girl,  _ and the taller man couldn’t stop whispering  _ I know  _ in response.

**~*~**

It took another month for all the paperwork to be finished and signed, with everything finalised and settled, Gabriel would not stop bouncing in excitement at the fact today was the day! Sam tried to get him to calm down but to no avail, instead all he’d done was bottle the energy down for a few hours causing it to all boil over when he  _ had  _ allowed him to be rambunctious again. This resulted in one toppled coffee table and two spilled glasses of water. 

 “Gabriel, you need to chill.” Sam said eventually, grabbing him by the hip and dragging him down onto his lap, thumbs slipping under Gabriel’s shirt to rub small soothing circles into his waist in the way that only Sam could do. As expected, it made Gabriel sit still for a little longer, head resting forward on Sam’s shoulder as he tried to keep strict control over his breathing.

What if he couldn’t do it? What if something went wrong, he unintentionally took a leaf from his father’s book and was the worst Dad ever to her? Fear shot through him, cold and sharp. What if he screwed everything up? He pressed himself little closer to Sam, nuzzling against his neck as a way of trying to calm himself down. 

 “Gabe?” Sam whispered, seeing the clear difference between his fiancé’s attitude before, and it now after.

 “Mmm?”

 “You alright?” Gabriel took in a deep breath as he debated on how he was supposed to answer that. Because he knew he shouldn’t be worried. He had Sam, and Sam would be the best father, he had been raised by Bobby for fucks sake. But he? He hadn’t. Before he could open his mouth to speak and tell Sam maybe he wasn’t okay, and that he was sorry, and he was probably going to fuck this up, the doorbell rang. Gabriel sat bolt upright, looking from Sam to the door before sliding off his lap, heading for the door.

**~*~**

Marissa left two hours later after sitting and watching them for a little while to check neither of them needed too much direction. Once she left, Gabriel found himself feeling just that little more relaxed now he wasn’t being watched. He leant back into the chair, the blonde baby curled up in his arms against his chest. He gently ran a finger down over her cheek, watching the way she yawned widely, one tiny tooth forming at that back. His heart  _ melted  _ at the sight, her tiny hands flexing open then back into fists. Sam sat beside him, an arm around his shoulders.

 “She’s  _ gorgeous. _ ” He whispered before pressing a kiss to the side of Gabriel’s head. Gabriel nodded a little in agreement, paying way more attention to the bundle of joy curled up in his arms. She stretched again, this time catching ahold of Gabriel’s hand and squeezing his finger.

Then he realised he could do this. He could be a good father to Mary-Anna because he knew what he couldn’t do. He knew what was the wrong thing to do, to say, to  _ be,  _ and he knew that he would never let himself go down that road. He wouldn’t let himself be like his father. Even though there was statistically a chance he’d follow in Papa Novak’s footsteps, he knew that Sam would reach out, take his hand, and take him back to the right path. He’d make sure Gabriel didn’t fuck shit up like his father had done.

Gabriel trusted Sam to do that.

Later on that night, once they’d tucked her into bed and both given her the first goodnight kisses of many, Gabriel cornered in the kitchen. 

 “Samshine, I gotta talk to you for a minute here kiddo.” Sam turned to look at Gabriel, leaning on the kitchen counter. 

 “Shoot.”

 “See look, right, I just… I need to ask you something. If… if I start following the way my Dad was… you gotta stop me. Tell me straight to stop, don’t let me fuck this up.” He looked up at Sam imploringly and Sam sighed quietly, reaching out and pulling him closer, hands around Gabriel’s waist. 

 “Listen to me Gabe, okay? You’re going to be  _ amazing  _ with this. I believe in you, I really do. I can just tell you’re going to be an amazing father to Mary-Anna. You’re going to be absolutely amazing.” He leant down, brushing a gentle kiss to Gabriel’s lips. “And if you need me? I’m right here. I won’t let you follow your father’s footsteps, and in return, you won’t let me do the same as my father.” Gabriel nodded, letting himself fall forward to press his forehead to Sam’s chest.

He -- no, _ they _ could do this.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for what's coming


	17. Don't Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

Sam jogged down the stairs outside of work with a wave over his shoulder to his partner who was also leaving, just at a slower rate. 

 “Have a good evening Winchester!” Sam laughed, turning back at beam at Bill who had a knowing look on his face. 

 “You too Bill.”

As Sam got off his first bus his phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out,  _ knowing  _ it was a text from Gabriel before he’d tapped in his passcode.

**[From: My Angel <3]** _hurry up and get home dammit Antlers i made your favourite,  it’s our anniversary iiiiif you hadn’t forgotten_ Sam rolled his eyes at the nickname and tapped out a reply.

**[From: Sam]** _ Gabe, I’m coming as fast as I can, unless you want me to run. And do you honestly believe I could forget? _

**[From: My Angel <3] ** _ that’d be gr8 cheers mooseface. and pft no i was joking ilu xx <3 _

Sam laughed loudly, rolling his eyes again at the ridiculous nickname as he shoved the phone back into his pocket. He carried on walking for a few paces before changing his mind and half-running down the road, because honestly who was he to deny his gorgeous fiancé ( _ fiancé,  _ he just couldn’t get enough of the word.) of spending time with him. He couldn’t wait to get home. He’d been kept at the office a lot longer than he’d wanted, even though everyone knew it was his anniversary with Gabriel and he’d wanted to get away early. There were things that couldn’t be escaped however, and it had ended up being him and Bill who stayed behind to sort out all the loose ends. He had a mental note to talk to his boss tomorrow about it, see if he could request a different early leave, make it up to Gabe.

 An eerie feeling settled over him. He stopped, looking behind him. Nothing, of course there was nothing. He couldn’t shake the feeling though. The feeling that someone was watching him. His skin prickled, and the hairs on the back of his neck raised up. He didn’t like this. He shook his head and carried on walking - not running this time. It was too noisy. He could feel his heartbeat slowly ramping up as he walked, the silence pressing in around him. 

A streetlamp flickered off above his head as he walked under it and he stopped, frowning up at it. Great, as if he wasn’t already freaked out for some reason the light has to-

 “Give us yer phone, wallet, everything.” his blood ran cold as he dug his hands in his pocket for his wallet, a hand grabbing the back of his shirt.  _ Give them it and run, you can replace everything in there _ . “‘urry up!” his wallet was tangled up in his keys in his pocket and he couldn’t get it out. He moved slightly, trying to reangle his leg to make it easier, to make it come loose.

 A white-hot pain shot through him as he did, and he cried out, knees buckling as the pain in his chest subsided, replaced by a scorching burning sensation that travelled through him.

 “You fuckin’ stabbed him!” a voice behind him said. 

 “Shit -  _ run. _ ” the first voice said, and two teenagers ran past him, seemingly all dressed in black as he slumped into the pavement, heart racing.  _ He wasn’t going to make it. He wasn’t going to make it home.  _ He reached into his pocket, pulling his phone out.

He could call an ambulance.

_ But what if he didn’t make it. _

What if he never got to hear Gabriel’s voice again?

Never got to tell him he loves him again?

He called Gabriel.

 “Hey Sammy, what’s happenin’?” Gabe hummed down the phone, scooping up their daughter and kissing her forehead. He felt his heart lift at the sound of Gabriel’s voice,  _ his  _ Gabriel. The thought of  _ not for much longer  _ played in the back of his mind but he pushed it away.

 “Not much, just uh -” he coughed hard, chest aching. “waiting for a bus. I was just - I wanted to hear your voice.”

 “Such a sap Samajam.” he chuckled, staring at the photo of them together on the wall taken when they’d gone on holiday with Mary. They loved because neither he nor Sam were looking at camera - they were gazing at each other, goofy grins on their faces.

 “I know I am.” he stopped, a sad smile on his lips before taking a deep breath. “I love you angel.”  _ This was it. This is the last time you can tell him you love him Sam. Make it count. _

 “I love you too Samshine,” Gabriel beamed down the phone, a warm feeling in his chest.

 “I  _ mean _ it Gabriel. I love you. I love you so damn much.” he wheezed into the receiver, hand tightening around it as he stared into space, vision swimming. His chest felt cold now rather than warm and he was struggling for breath.  _ This is it.  _ “You’re my angel. Always will be.” he sobbed, hot tears on his cheek. “I love you so  _ fucking  _ much.”

 “Woah, woah, Sam, Sammy, is everything okay?” panic settled in Gabriel’s stomach and he put Mary-Anna down, turning to the front door. Something was wrong. Something was  _ very  _ wrong.

 “Always remember I love you.” he whispered, before hanging up. He tapped on 911 - the phone slipping between his fingers slightly as he rasped  _ need ambulance, Stoneleigh Place.  _ He did drop his phone then and he spotted his lock screen, a picture of him and Gabriel from last Halloween dressed as an angel and a demon. “My angel.” he whispered before the world dissolved into black.

Gabriel stared at the phone. “Sam?” no answer. “Sam!”  _ no answer.  _ He redialled. “Sam, Sammy, c’mon baby answer me.” Still nothing. He swore loudly, much to the shock of the baby sat at the kitchen table. Pleading for some kind of miracle, Gabriel dialled for the first person he thought of; Dean. He explained the situation, and Dean came round, hair messy, a jacket that obviously not his hanging off his shoulders. 

 “No answer?”

 “None, Dean, I’m scared -”

 “I know, listen, we’ll find him, he’s fine. This is  _ Sam  _ we’re on about.”

**~*~**

Dean held Gabriel’s arms by the elbows as he threw himself at the doctor, a wail escaping him, trying to break free from his grip, his hair flying into his face, tears streaking his cheeks.

 “Lemme GO Dean!” he howled through sobs, fighting less and less until he sunk to his knees and Dean gathered him up, but Gabriel fought back, pushing Dean away from him. Guilt flooded Dean as he did and he let go of Gabriel.  _ We’ll find him -  _ he’d said. We’ll fucking find him. But that wasn’t what’d happened. Sam, in a way, had found them, though through the next of kin part of his medical forms. 

 “Gabriel, you can’t just barge in there, he’s - they’re doing all they can.” Gabriel slammed a fist on the floor, ignoring the dull ache that caused, chest heaving. Dean sat in front of him, grabbing onto the now sore hand. 

 “Sam’s not - he can’t be - no - you’re wrong, you’re  _ wrong… _ ” he stopped being able to speak, breath knocked from him with every wave of emotion. His Sam? His fiancé? He refused to believe it. He pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face. Dean gave Gabriel’s hand a squeeze as Cas came over, hand resting on his back. 

 “Gabriel.” he whispered, and Gabriel just shook his head, hiccuping. No. Sam can't be in that much danger. It's not possible. There was no way Sam, his Sam, could be standing on the brink of life and death.  As he hiccuped again, Cas' hands made their way under his arms, lifting him off the floor and pushing him down into a chair.”

 "Gabriel, listen to me. Sam is  _ alive.  _ He is alive. And they are  _ trying  _ as hard as they can. You gotta keep it together Gabe, Sam’s gonna need you when he wakes up.” Gabriel managed to nod. Yeah. Cas  was right. Sam would need him when he woke up.

Dean took Cas’ hand and let him outside, leaving Gabriel in the cafeteria with a mug of hot chocolate.

 “What do you mean,  _ when  _ he wakes up.” He said quietly, looking at Cas carefully. He liked Cas, he did, but at the same time there was no way he could not mention that.

 “I mean - Sam will wake up, and when he does he’ll need both Gabriel and you.” Dean huffed, fighting himself not to pull one of Sam’s bitchfaces. 

 “What I mean is why are you so sure that Sam’s gonna wake up.” Dean was quiet, eyes meeting Cas’. Castiel stared back at Dean, before gathering up his words and speaking again. 

 “Because Sam’s strong. Because he called Gabriel before he called an ambulance. Gabriel… Gabriel needs Sam to wake up. He needs it. Mary-Anna needs it. And Sam won’t let him down.” his voice was rough as he spoke, as if he didn’t believe the words he was saying. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders, pulling him into a hug that Cas gratefully accepted. 

 “Gabe’ll be okay.” he whispered, chin on Castiel’s shoulder. 

 “So will Sam.”

Dean wasn’t sure he believed that. 

**~*~**

Gabriel was allowed into the hospital room at last and his steps fumbled as he entered the room. He walked to the bedside, brushing Sam’s hair from his forehead and bending over to kiss his cheek. 

 “Sam…” he whispered, fingers lingering on his cheek. He heard the doctor shuffling behind him. 

 “He’s not out of the woods yet Mr Novak, as sorry as I am to tell you that. But… he has a higher chance now than he did when he was brought in.” he nodded without looking at the man behind him, and he heard the door close softly.

 “Sam… please kiddo, stay with me. Don’t - don’t let me go. Hold on. Please.” his voice broke and he stopped talking, kissing the tip of Sam’s nose before wrenching himself away from his sleeping fiancé who could die any fucking second now, and planting himself in a an armchair a short distance from the bed, curling up in it.

“Please don’t go Sam.”


	18. There'll Be Peace When You Are Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sorry

It was raining.

Apt.

 Sam wouldn’t have liked it. Sam didn’t like the rain. Sam was one for the sunshine, which made the nickname ‘Samshine’ even better for him.  _ Samshine.  _ Yeah. It’d been perfect for him. Those dimples. Those sunflower eyes. That smile he gave Gabriel when Gabriel told him that he loved him. He was like sunshine bottled into a person. Gabriel rubbed some moisture from his face, pushing his wet hair off his forehead. He kicked a pebble, watching it skitter away from him. Gabriel looked up at the grey-blue sky, squinting against the falling water.  _ Sam, buddy, I know you’re up there, turn the waterworks off? _

He could have sworn it started to rain harder.

 He sat down - probably not the best idea, but his legs wouldn’t hold him up any longer. He stared at the headstone in front of him, unsure of what to do. He could cry, he was going to anyway. He could scream, but what was the point? If a heart-broken man screams in an empty cemetery does he even make a sound? He couldn’t do anything but sit and stare at the stone as if it was all that mattered anymore. He reached out slowly, almost in a trance state, fingers brushing the words, tracing in the indentatio ns, the in tricate carving over a feather.

_ Sam Winchester. Brother, Friend, Fiancé. Carry On My Wayward Son; There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done. _

 Gabriel stared at the Kansas song lyrics.  _ There’ll be peace when you are done.  _ Well, Sam’s done now, isn’t he? He’s dead and done. So why isn’t there peac e? The so ng’s a goddamn sha m; a lie. He scowled before softening. It wasn’t Sam’s fault.  

 “Hey Sam.” he croaked at the headstone, finding his footing, his voice. “I uh - today’s our wedding. Would have been. And I know you’re not here but uh… we wrote our own vows, and I wanted you to hear mine anyway?” he pulled the paper from his pocket, rain assaulting it and he hunched over. He didn’t need the scrap of lined paper, he knew the vows off by heart.

Why did he keep the paper? He wasn’t sure.

A physical symbol of the now entirely memory based relationship?

Sounds about right.

 “Sam, from the day we met, I knew it was always going to be you. Sure, we met through some odd circumstances, but I’m glad that you were the one who babysat Mr Fizzles for me. I’m glad that you put up with me feeding every damn cat I came across, you didn’t think it was weird I kept catnip treats on me, and you accepted the fact I don’t eat the pink marshmallows, despite the fact that it’s weird. You were there for me when I needed someone the most, and now I think back, I realise it was you I needed and you were there for me. You held me, you let me talk, you let me cry, you let me shout at nothing and about everything. You let me into your life, you let me into your family and I have never been more grateful for an Anti-Cat rule in my life.” he stopped, realising that he just couldn’t go on. This is where he’d written how he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with Sam. How he couldn’t wait for them to watch their daughter grow up. How he found it funny that neither of them had a good father but Mary-Anna  had two. Now she only has one.

 “I miss you Sam.” he choked. When had he started crying? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure he even cared anymore. The rain fell harder around him, but Gabriel Novak wasn’t there anymore. He was gone. He was fighting to rise above the noise and confusion, to get a glimpse beyond the illusion that was his life, the illusion that Sam, his Sam, wasn’t there anymore. The problem was that no matter how hard he fought, he couldn’t escape the reality. The reality that was Sam was gone , a nd he would have to carry on. He pressed the palm of his hand over the year that Sam died, blanking it out.

 No. He can’t be. He  _ can’t  _ be gone. “You… you have a heart so big…” he blinked more tears from his eyes, a sob in his chest. “And God couldn’t let it live.” Rage filled him now rather than grief. He stood up messily, the ruined vows clutched in his hand. “Could you, you ethereal bastard?” he screamed, head turned towards the sky. “You had to take him away from me. You had to rip him away from me.” He wobbled, but refused to fall. If there was one time in his life he needed to be able to stand on his own two feet, it was now. “You fucking had to just do it, just, just take him away.... why… why did you… why couldn’t you…” the grief came back like a wave, taking Gabriel to his knees again.  _ Why couldn’t you leave him with me? _

 He knelt there for a long time. A few people walked past, and probably assumed he was praying. But he wasn’t. Gabriel Novak didn’t believe in any form of deity anymore. How could he? How could he believe in a benevolent higher power when he wasn’t being shown anything benevolent or kind?

  He looked up again, looking at the headstone, looking at the only solid proof that Sam had even existed and he felt empty. He should go home, no, it wasn’t home anymore. It wasn’t home without Sam waiting for him. He should go back to the  _ house,  _ back to Mary-Anna, back to the normal apple pie life that Sam would want him to live. His chest hurt, like someone had just punched it, and he couldn’t bring himself to move. 

 Another hour passed, just Gabriel sitting there, staring at the headstone, vision blurring as he did. He wasn’t even  _ reading  _ it anymore, he had the words committed to memory. Movement behind him made him turn around, looking up at the person plaintively. Castiel held his hand out for Gabriel, a silent offer of help. Gabriel reached up, taking Cas’ hand, feeling his long fingers wrap around Gabriel’s wrist as he helped him to his feet. Gabriel looked at Cas, unspilled tears in his eyes. 

 “He’s really gone Cas.” he rasped, voice broken, throat sore. 

 “I know Gabriel. I’m so sorry.”

 “He’s… he’s really gone.” Cas’ hand squeezed his softly, his other arm around Gabriel’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug. 

 “I know.”


	19. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kay im less sorry

Gabriel had never felt so alone. 


	20. Morning Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not sorry anymore

Gabriel’s eyes flew open, his chest twisting in pain, vision blurred by unspilled tears. He swallowed thickly before blinking the tears from his eyes, letting them roll down his face and felt them drip onto his arm like a cold rain. As his vision cleared he realised he was hunched up on a hospital chair, shoes discarded under it. His neck hurt, as did his back, and he groaned as he moved, muscles grumbling at the awkward position he’d slept in. As he stretched he looked to his side, seeing the sunlight coming through to pool on…

Sam. Sam was awake, looking over at him, chestnut hair shining in the light, eyes glittering. There was a wistful smile on his face as he looked over at Gabriel,  _ his  _ Gabriel, who he’d watched sleep, who he’d watched whimper and sob as he curled himself tighter into the chair but he couldn’t wake him. Sam smiled a little more at him as he saw the expression of pure relief flood Gabriel’s face, a broken sounding laugh bubbling up.

 “Morning.” Sam whispered through a hoarse throat, and  _ oh god he’s alive, he’s ALIVE _ streamed across Gabriel’s mind and he leapt up, ignoring the protests from his back and he ran the short distance, crouching by the end of the bed.

 “You’re not dead.” Gabriel rasped, running his hand through Sam’s hair, eyes darting over his face as he drank in the fact Sam  _ wasn’t  _ dead. He was alive, right in front of Gabriel, living and breathing. 

 “Good job Gabe, you have eyes.” Sam’s weak smile was enough to still make Gabriel scared that he wasn’t out of the woods yet but the glitter in his eyes gave him some hope that he’d be okay.

 “No but… I dreamt… you were gone and I was… fuck Sam, I felt so alone and-”

 “Gabe, angel, it’s okay, I’m okay, I’m here okay?” Sam shushed him, reaching up to brush his fingers over Gabriel’s lips, making him stop talking and just sit there eyes wide. “I’m gonna be okay, I swear. I tol’ you I’d always come home didn’ I?” Gabriel nodded, hair falling into his face and he thudded his face into the mattress. 

 “God… I was jus’ so scared.” he spoke into the mattress, not having the energy to lift his head and speak to Sam, worn from the previous day, the nightmare, and now discovering Sam was alive. “It felt so  _ real,  _ like I could feel the cold of the rain, and it hurt, it hurt so bad right in my chest, it - I swear - I -” he stopped speaking again, having no more words to say. His spirits lifted instantly as he felt Sam carding a hand through his hair and he looked up at him, leaning into the touch.

 “I told you I was coming home angel. When have I ever broken a promise to you?” Gabriel shook his head sharply and Sam reached up, smoothing his hair away from his face. “Exactly. I could never break a promise to my angel, my beautiful angel.” Gabriel held back a sob as he took Sam’s hand and pressed a kiss the palm, lacing their fingers together, unable to stop looking at Sam, stop looking at the man he believed he’d lost.

 “I couldn’ lose you Sam, I couldn’t, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Sam shushed him, pressing his thumb to Gabriel’s lower lip. 

 “Hush, angel. I’m okay. I’m going to be fine.” he nodded, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

 “You’re gonna be fine.”


	21. There is Peace When You Are Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here's your happy ending mofos

The weather was stunning, sun bright, sky cloudless.

Apt.

 Gabriel readjusted his tie for the hundredth time, pushing it up to his collar as light danced in through the window. Sam was probably  _ loving  _ this. Sam had always been one for the sunshine, which made the nickname ‘Samshine’ even better for him.

_ Samshine. _

Yeah. It was  _ perfect  _ for him. Those dimples. Those sunflower eyes. That smile he gave Gabriel each and every time Gabriel told him that he loved him. He was like sunshine bottled into a person.

Gabriel shook his hands and arm out, as if trying to shake the tension from his body, pushing his damp hair off his forehead. He scuffed the tip of his shoe against the wooden floor, listening to the tiny  _ dunk  _ noise it made. Gabriel looked over at the window, the light coating the dark floor. It decorated everything that sat in its path and he walked over to the window, looking out and up at the single wisp of cloud.  _ God, buddy, if you are up there? Keep the waterworks away please. _

He could have sworn the sun shone harder.

As he headed back across the room to the mirror he reached into his pocket, thumb brushing over the small circle in his pocket, looking at himself. Golden tie, Sam’s choice, and a light grey waistcoat buttoned up under a black blazer, a small pink flower tucked in the buttonhole. He smiled at his own reflection and spun on his heel to find Bobby standing in the doorway, also in a suit. 

 “Ready?”

 “As I’ll ever be.”

Bobby was humming an old classic rock song as they waited for Sam. One that he recognised.  _ Carry On my Wayward Son, There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done.  _ He blinked, running the lyrics through in his head. There’ll be peace when you are done. As he looked down what seemed an impossibly long distance between him and the door he realised. This was it. He was done. There was peace coming. Because what else was there for him except Sam, and now he had, was about to have, Sam forever. There  _ was  _ peace when he was done.

He grinned at Bobby, who patted him on the shoulder.

 “Am I your ‘wayward son’?” he mumbled, leaning towards the older man who just rolled his eyes, giving a good-hearted chuckle. 

 “You and Sam both, you’re fuckin’ idjits, but I love ya anyway.”

 “Love you too Gramps.” he snorted, interest piquing as the door began to open.

Gabriel’s breath caught in his throat, and he felt a sob in his chest as the door opened. But for once? This was a good thing. Because, as usual, it was Sam evoking these emotions, these powerful emotions that take him over from the inside out and make him feel  _ real.  _ But this time Sam wasn’t dying. This time Sam was living. This time Sam was walking right  _ into  _ his life.

He couldn’t stop smiling as Sam stepped through those doors, hair curling slightly at the nape of his neck, eyes shining brightly, a smile on his face looked like you couldn’t move it if anyone tried. He had Dean at his elbow, and by God did his brother look proud as he saw Gabriel standing beside Bobby, who had adopted himself a third son.

Sam saw Gabriel, saw those golden eyes meet his and he laughed, a sound that danced up to the ceiling. He couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t. This was really happening. He couldn’t stop himself from wiggling out of Dean’s grip and running up to Gabriel, skidding to a halt and cupping his face in his hand, tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear. Gabriel melted into Sam’s touch, reaching up to take his hands, lacing their fingers together.

The minister cleared his throat. 

 “We are gathered here today to witness the union of Gabriel Steven Novak, and Samuel Lewis Winchester.” Gabriel grinned at Sam, all teeth and movie star sparkle. “You have written your own vows.” Gabriel nodded, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.

He didn’t need the scrap of lined paper, he knew the vows off by heart.

Why did he keep the paper? He wasn’t sure.

But he did.

 “Sam, from the day we met, I knew that it… it was always going to be you. We met through some rather… odd circumstances to say the least, but I’ve never stopped being glad that you were the one who helped me and Garthy out. You were there for me Sam, there for me when I needed someone the most, and now I think back, I realise it was you that I needed. You held me, you let me talk, you let me cry, you let me shout at nothing and about everything. You let me into your life, you let me into your  _ family _ and I have never been more grateful for an Anti-Cat rule in my life.” he stopped, taking a deep breath. This was where in his dream, no,  _ nightmare,  _ he’d stopped, because in his nightmare Sam hadn’t been there. But right now he was staring right up at him. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life waking up by your side, making you breakfast and being made breakfast by you. Sometimes I find it funny y’know? Neither of us had a proper father - Bobby excluded - but…  now we have Mary-Anna and she has not one, but  _ two  _ amazing fathers, as well as a whole damn family standing behind her.”

 “I love you Sam.” he choked. When had he started crying? He wasn’t sure. He didn’t care anymore to be honest. Reality fell into place around him, the words he’d spoken settling in the room like freshly fallen snow. The problem was that no matter how hard he fought, he couldn’t escape the reality. But the best part? He didn’t  _ need  _ to escape reality anymore, because he had  _ Sam.  _ He’d escaped the noise and confusion that was life and he’d caught more than just a glimpse from beyond the illusion, he’d fallen head first out of it, landing in Sam’s arms.

Sam’s face lit up and Gabriel felt his knees go literally weak at the sight. Sam cleared his throat, reaching into his pocket to pull out his own piece of paper. He unfolded it, and began to read. 

 “Gabriel, I can honestly say you were  _ not  _ what I was expecting. The mailman? Sure. Dean trying to surprise me? Possible. But  _ you? _ No. I wasn’t expecting a spitfire of a human being, a ball of charisma that never stops to be there, thrust a cat on me, and leave with a swagger in your step. But I’ve never been able to forget the gratitude in your eyes as I took Mr Fizzles from you. I’ll never be able to forget you calling me an antlerless moose making people turn and stare, and making me laugh so hard my sides hurt. I’ll never be able to forget the way you looked that night at Bobby’s, the Christmas lights making you glow like you were a  _ real  _ angel. And I still stick by my claim that you are an angel, even without the wings and a halo, because to me, you’re everything an angel needs to be and more. Caring, doting, protective, just.”

Sam stopped speaking, not because he didn’t have anything else to say, but because he couldn’t say anymore, his voice had given up on him. It was one of those times that he was rendered speechless, and it was because of Gabriel. It was  _ always  _ because of Gabriel. “I love you too Gabriel.” he said, voice hoarse as he forced it out, knowing that it was the second most important sentence he was going to ever say in his life.

The minister took his step forward again. 

 “Do you have the rings?” They both nodded, pulling the ring from their pocket, but holding it in their fist, not letting the other see. He turned to Sam first. “Samuel Lewis Winchester, do you take Gabriel Steven Novak to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts you?”

 “I do.” Gabriel held his hand out, hand quivering as the silver band was slipped on, he glanced down, noticing an intricate engraving of a feather in the silver.  _ Angel. _

 “Gabriel Steven Novak, do you take Samuel Lewis Winchester to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts you?”

 “I do.” He slid the ring onto Sam’s finger, embracing the laugh it got from him. Sure, it’d been expensive, but Gabriel had had a custom ring made for Sam. It was silver, matching colour to his, but it was a small cat, tail between it’s front paws. Sam stared at it, eyes watering.  _ Mr Fizzles. _

 “I now pronounce you husband and -” Sam didn’t even wait for him to finish before ducking his head, capturing Gabriel’s lips in a kiss that reminded them both of their first. Soft and simple, but full of stored up emotion that no one but them could hope to understand. “-husband.”

Everyone was cheering, confetti was flying, and Gabriel was clinging to Sam’s arm as they left the building, stepping out into the sunshine and into their life, together. He looked up at Sam, admiring the way the confetti was lodged in his hair and he reached up to brush some away. Sam caught his hand, long fingers wrapping around his wrist and he pressed a kiss to the palm of his hands. 

 “We’re  _ married,  _ Gabriel.”

 “I know.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it; love it; hate it; hate me; tell me in the comments or on tumblr!  
> > synergygabriel  
> > whodoesntlovesabriel


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